It's really not your fault!  but, it is your responsibility
Romans 1:9-12

Prejudice against Respect for Marriage

   "Move on with your life." "There's plenty of fish in the sea." "You have a lot to offer." "Make something of yourself." "Just have a good time and don't worry about the past." are types of slogans used by employees of 'Homewreckers Incorporated'. We share this page titled 'Infidelity' specifically to help with those misconceptions. Modern me-first belief is similar to 1800s gold mine claim jumpers where some thieves were after gold while others were after stolen mine shaft rights of false ownership.

   There is an infinite difference between infidelity and adultery. Infidelity is of the instinct, a dealing with natural attractions that come to us here and there as we negotiate our social interactions. Adultery is a spirit-being matter (“…not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit says the Lord…”) about who, therefore where, our confidence and expectations are committed. Physically intimate infidelity can be the central symptom of adultery when the flesh rules the spirit.

   However, adultery is realized in the decisions to oppose one’s spouse in priorities and self-satisfaction and/or selfish protections, without regard to godly leading with a spouse to solve worldly issues for Christ’s sake. In Him, though, both are forgiven His way where His way is honest and not manipulatively remote or isolated - and non-compliant to genuine candor by understanding. That is why many times when we believe a person is lying to us, we are centering on inadequate words in misunderstanding what he or she is attempting to express.

   Fears of being misunderstood arise when other hidden fears about emotional conflicts over real or imagined mistakes and failures seem to be too upsetting to attempt revealing. This is combined with even further fears about possible consequential intentions a man or woman might have in response. "You're the one that..." did this or that; countered with, "And, you're the one that...", during an argument is actively engaged heartfelt recognition of mutually shared concern.

   “Nothing’s ever good enough, is it!” signifies godly expectations without realizing God is God through Christ’s redemption. He is never exacting with frustration over our personal requirements because His manifestation in our hearts is created in the justice of graces through faithful patience. Trusting our lives unto Him in our committed activities day by day accepts that He overlooks our downfallen nature in order to respect each our own will to choose the strengths loyalty conveys.

   Emotionally obligated self-protective defense of personal choices, against offenses (idealized impressions that contrary events are of the nature of a responsible party) that shared relational responsibilities cause through chaotic events, further exaggerates one’s focus to desire relief in compensation through pleasurable sensual experiences; innocently and/or spitefully. Though, to the ‘wounded party’ who may or may not understand enough to weather through an issue or event, the same tendencies temptingly become attractive.

   This causes a selfish selflessness where it seems to be better to relieve one’s inter-relational miseries by cutting loose the one who is needed for the foundation of healthy togetherness both desire to achieve. Thus, the quick and natural seeming unnatural solution regretfully shapes through bitterness: that him or her should “move on with their life” or “get out of the situation”. Trouble is, making decisions for another by casting them aside from their committed promises to their mate, and therefore unto God, puts both ‘sides’ into a bind much greater.

    Working out differences – recognizing a problem for what it is and how to deal with it, instead of believing a problem centers in who it is that promotes shielding and distance – relieves the tensions adversarial pressures and annoyances cause, with God’s help and guidance through faith to overcome all obstacles. For a man or woman to tell their wife or husband, “I don’t love you any more...” is a plea of emotional distress that in actual fact is saying, “My faith in Christ is lagging and God’s love is overshadowed in my heart by frustrations, disappointments, and confused desires.”

   Usually, when people crave attention from sources other than their mate, there is a compulsive self-serving giving of attentions to their spouse for the wrong reasons. These wrong reasons are not about doing right, and/or wrong, as acts of disrespect to their mate. The misunderstanding about judgmental rating and categorizing of conditions and states of affairs, without regard to who one is to their mate in Christ, causes independent values to be placed through one’s natural reasoning (worldly wisdom) in regard to personal defense of qualities (protection, security,  loyalty, satisfaction, etc.) in flesh living.

   Infidelity springs from wishes to realize, through service from others, imaginary requirements to support and verify our personal comforts and securities. Without consciously realizing the attendant whys and frayed why knots of social discourse, as personal intent concerns intimate relationship, and the economic results that keep us safe, secure, and hopefully prosperous; arguments and decisions about our necessities of life will continue to undermine, instead of respond to, our needs and desires for improved personal and social welfare.

   God’s will, His created expectation for everyone, is for each person to honor Him, others, and their self by being responsible in refraining from falsehearted selfish intimacy. When our naturally expressive sensuality is sensibly understood for what it means, it cannot be, and should not be, despised or covered. Infidelity is not in experiencing physical intimacy and personal shared moments of pleasure with one not our spouse, though involvement in those activities can cause far reaching conflicts, private and publicly scattered confusion, and intense rivalry.

   Infidelity, rather, is hidden dishonesty – a secret manipulative agenda of intrigue to deceive us into believing securities and trust are being honored. Cheating is giving attention to views and opinions opposed to faith in God through the shared decisive loyalties with one’s mate. Thieves, through deception, exercise unauthorized use of the blessings and joy of ownership God gives to His people and never can own what they have stolen.

   Outward displays of spite, taunting, mockery, and maligning other’s character are an attempt to shield and cover secret emotional confusion about priorities in misalignment with desire’s proper functions. Mankind’s society plays god, by displacing God’s overseeing wisdom, through working traditionally established standards in difference with progressively perpetuated objectionable standards. Interaction between social and personal activity; companionship, housing, transportation, clothing, food, entertainment, and behavior are caught in the attempted balances as a result of categorizing who anyone is or may be according to their accumulated mortal history.

   Consequently, the envelope of accepted and rejected contrived morality is ever pushed into more vigorous polarization as variety becomes more confusing to the individual and what he and/or she can expect to trust. Each act of self-serving indiscretion and hidden indecency is not an extension of a previous act of sinfulness. Emotional impulses to cover one’s sin use an analyzing reason-able logic to integrate an additional act of defiance, to please one’s self, into the memories associated with the previous act.

   Repetition causes the presumption that one sin strung to another is a continuation of a way of being where a person is being deceived by believing what they have done is who they are. But, each moment’s act of infidelity is a separate and distinct act of infidelity and cannot be considered as part of an overall single sin of infidelity. To overrun one’s conviction of heart, for having betrayed sensibilities and responsibilities, requires finding false validation for circumstances that may have led to falling to alternative attentions apart from a person’s rightful way.

   Product advertisements use the allure of the female (and also male) form to incite and interlace erotic/emotional incentives to obtain material possessions and services. So, men and women search for erotic engagement(s) to fulfill their psychologically trained audio/visual desires. The polarization of thought, emotions, and the subsequent outcome of activity has, in part, a subversive affect and effect drawn from the habits obtained through electric appliances and machines.

   Technological devices have an “on and off” response to our expectations that emotionally manifest our decisions to consume and discard as we imagine our wishes to be. When the concepts of ‘have or have not’ are steeped into the desires of security and well being, the concepts inadvertently, and disrespectfully, are applied to people who may or may not provide an answer to a chosen direction. Since objects are not people, the use or disuse of the objects is more manageable than the use or disuse of people.

   So, it is easier to identify with the control over objects than it is with the whims and varying will of people. One may turn a light switch on or off at will. Trust in the use of devices is more easily accepted than the use of people because people are not devices. Rather, people are intended to be trusted according to their familial position of bond. The confusion rests in the disassociated understanding of the meaning of love. The pains/pleasures of running from pain finds more pains in reinforcing the process through compulsive pleasurable incentives. “Worries on your mind, always try to find, happiness…”

   Underlying the commonly thought of instinctual sex drive drawn from amorous desire, is in fact drawn from fear of eternal death. Worldly wisdom steeped in emotional responses to gratification, interpreted as love, is an attempt to overcome ambiguous assertions about the unknown. Generally acknowledged fluctuating standards about ambitious determination for health and well being, and personal fulfillment, without constant recognition of Who God is through His plan(s) for each and all people, is why habitual self-serving manipulative use of one’s self and others becomes a hidden false right to feigned independence.

   Marriage, the foundation of any society (though there are distorted variations of exception) has sanction by the supernatural because of the propagation of life – the unknown extent of will beyond mortal understanding – and validation by government in protective agreement to respectfully honor the awareness of life as protections are approved or disallowed. In this, the traditional family (man married to woman and the children of the union – combined with the extended collective of like associations) is the actual church in its living expression and is the actual government in its living expression – the inseparable compliment of church and state.

   The separation of church and state, necessarily combined in the hearts and minds of the people, takes on a disoriented lifting up of government as a replacement for the church through the rule of law as a standard to offset the variances of thought and religious observance. Society, then, becomes the determiner of the values of marriage instead of marriage setting the standards for society. This role playing of government to establish a chaotic order of disorder through declaring church influence non-governmental creates an increasingly confused disruption of stability and peace throughout society.

   The rule of law, without respect to faith in the will of God, has a pragmatic will of order outside constructive unity. Without the guidance that faithfully trusting God through our spouse brings, there is a self-enclosed logical step from; "If it's not against the law, it is permissible," to " long as we don't get caught." A key ingredient of distorted perceptions brought about by inappropriate reactions to alternative stimuli is forgetfulness. This type of forgetfulness is biologically instinctual and responds through natural instinctual urges in reaction to the biological instincts of others. It is not a reflection of who a person is, but an overridden distraction aside from their soul awareness and promises.

   When a person is gratified by an experience that replaces a need for proper and responsible fulfillment, the person forgets the reason for the proper fulfillment through the free associative use of the alternatives. This ‘forgetfulness’ of sensibility, the compartmentalizing of divided roles of attention, looks to cause angry opposition in each category against the other to drive further compulsions to hide guilt and shame in mock remorse. This happens because the proper meanings and use of experiential sensations are inverted in ways where meaning is attempted to be extracted from involvement contained by those sensations.

   Times when a man or woman does not know what to do is when he or she has the default course to go to, and work with, a wife or husband. The bonded baseline exists because she or he is the other’s source of freedom from contradictory bondage. Ongoing honest forgiveness (not the false taking for granted an 'automatic forgiveness where nothing need be said'), when people respect each their own will to depend in their own promises, pardons mistakes and failures in associations and activities by together working through God’s ways of reconciliation. Vulnerable risk combines with the promises of open honesty with a mate, as faith allows God’s strength of honesty to rule the heart:

Matthew 18:18-22 says, "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

   Diversions and covering for having left sensible responsibility brings attempts to justify, and therefore continue to justify, a wrong as if it is right. Inordinate associations in one area of misunderstanding create an attitude of evaluating experiences through distorted expectations. To alleviate the tensions of losing an integrated sense of depth and balance, separate approaches to varying circumstances and situations causes a dissociative compartmentalizing where motivations depend on momentary ethics. This presumes and assumes the right necessarily becomes wrong by the awkward establishment of a wrong as right via the appeal of variety.

   Eventually there comes an acceptance of the wrong as opposed to the right through persistence of habit, but the persistence of habit spirals into the load of shifting personal responsibilities onto others. While everyone is responsible for everyone else in some way or another, the perceived load of responsibility of projected blame or lack of effort is decidedly different from a natural shared endeavor. The individual affects the populace and the populace affects the individual.

   The institution of marriage loses its service to the people and becomes a cast aside mockery. The will of freedom to do as one improperly wishes in a community, eventually creates a "heart surfing" society that requires socialistic controls when God is deemed opposed, instead of complimentary, to living.

   When God does not have an accepted place of influence through the people over marriage and the family, corruption of financial responsibility automatically becomes the driving force that turns the integrity of capitalism’s function into subversive corruption. Anticipation to realize imaginative fantasy engages the vague mystique of ‘perhaps’ and masquerades its active focus as the expectancy of hopeful faith in our expressed promises of the Word.

1st Corinthians chapter 11

We can do it! I know we can!

   Jesus Christ, as we know of Him knows, actually lives, ever minute detail of our lives. It is in His truce with God in our behalf that we are able to rely. Therein is the only answer to working out any difficulties intimate relational stresses may be experiencing. The way that happens is to trust Him in our partner. Not in some sort of personal individualistic self-determined holding to religious holiness… but in non-judgmental acknowledgement of who each of us is unto our mate in Christ’s mercy.

   Most importantly, when a man or woman uses a church or outreach ministry as an emotionally thoughtful substitute for attentions in faith unto God with their spouse, he or she is diverting God’s will to responsibly interact with a mate. Through reliance in a socially contrived replacement for marriage decisions, as if the word of solution authority resides in the faith of any house of worship or minister, makes the church or ‘personal guide’ into a type of surrogate Christ. Many people wonder what the antichrist spirit of deception is while accepting faithfulness in that same intrusion into their will of reverence.

   Retraction from doling out the sensibilities of married commitment to mental health practitioners, and/or clergy counselors, and/or the traumatic psycho-backbiting defensive/offensive territorial positioning affairs and meddling ‘concerned and caring’ non-members of a marriage may instill,  gives away the created honor of trust a man and woman share naturally and honestly with each other unto God. The vows of matrimony provide the true word of faith in God’s Word of promises in Christ as the only sure clearinghouse of redemptive reconciliation always readily available - no matter any worldly (or otherwise) intrusions into their lives.

   There are a lot of things going wrong in the world. Husbands who believe their wives are the core of their problems are seeing only a symptom of the real problem. Men are about the same when it comes to being afraid to let someone know the truth. Fear of rejection in the face of fear of rejection sustains a quarrel where men and women are both terrified in their heart of hearts (in different ways) about life in general. Often, our frustrations and irritations about our spouse are negative assumptions concerning their very attributes and qualities we most admire.

   Women know that men are responsible for their security. They are frightened about their existence because they know they have a life that matters. Men take advantage of women because they are easier to conquer than their job or the crazy things happening around them in the world. Women identify with and carry both roles of wife and husband to take over the responsibility for their own security in hope to compensate for the men misjudging their role. This causes men to resent women in a way that reinforces the independence of the women.

Men and women like to use each other.

   Men know that women are responsible for their security. They are frightened about their existence because they know they have a life that matters. Women take advantage of men because they are easier to conquer than their job or the crazy things happening around them in the world. Men identify with and carry both roles of husband and wife to take over the responsibility for their own security to compensate for the women misjudging their role. This causes women to resent men in a way that reinforces the independence of the men.

Women and men like to hold each other responsible.

The differences can be thought of this way:

   A man exercises the 'defender' role for a woman. A woman exercises the 'keeper' role for a man. Together, defense and keeping is shared as the woman shares in her husband’s defense of their unity, while the man shares in his wife’s keeping of their unity, because they have a union. When unmarried couples, boyfriends and girlfriends, do not have a commitment and use the togetherness of a union without the commitment of marriage, there is a clash between the absolute permanence of a bond and the strained tension of no bond of meaningful permanence. The confusion of enjoyed fruits of permanent togetherness, without the committed promises intimate activity means, causes an underlying frustration, anger, resentment, and disappointment that looks for reasons to express the fears of giving one's all when it might mean nothing.

   This is backwards because the fears of the risks of losing choice (the seeming freedom of individuality and independence), through the turnstile of permanent decision, have already harmed the same respect and dignity of actions permanent decision represents by indulging in those actions.  Usually this loss is compensated for by turning to tangible items of sentimental possession (personal achievement - what one likes whether it is experience or things; music, dancing, eating, sleeping, working all are connected to money to buy a music player, clothes, jewelry, food, house, furniture...) to symbolize unseen indecisiveness.

   The value of a gift to another that appeals to what they like to expect is thought of as the expression of how much another cares because the respect and decency of the person has been lost to what anyone can or cannot do with what they have. When it is realized the focus on experiences and things as forms of identity does not address the underlying reality of a missing sense of worth, that the desire to have is overshadowing the desire to become one with another, the distance from an established peace of security is increased to where people believe their existence is validated by the world around them.

   If a man or woman is clinging to another in opposition to his or her marriage, the other is also clinging to the clinging in ways that reinforce the error, as if rightful validation, of both’s enmeshed bondage. Solidifying this distorted plying of intimate dependency is the sense of permanence one may experience with the inability to unsteal what has been stolen. Fear of reprisal by a spouse, projecting one’s fear of ungodly betrayal out from God’s hands of mercy onto the inadequate ability a spouse has to deal with such hardship, there comes emotional barriers to reconciliation in one’s properly sanctified place of redemption under the authority of Christ through the marriage vow promises.

   Experiences and things are replacements for acceptance of positional trust and the material blessings together efforts spur married camaraderie to appreciate. It is a misconception that a man or woman matters as a person if they get what they want; provided that what is wanted is self-serving rather than shared joy.  The self deceptive ambush that turns proper yearning for fulfillment into a craving of greed is; a man or woman can be giving their wife or husband exactly what tells them they matter more than anything else only to find them furious with the gift because it does not reply to the emotionally material desire.

   The reason many people rather want to be validated by things is the conflict of selfishness over shared things. To depend on another person to care for them in a right way, without using them for their own personal props, is confusing because people tend to be takers instead of grateful givers. When a giver and a taker are together, a taker will always take and a giver will always give - to the end that there is nothing left to give to the taker. At the same time, the giver is a taker in a different way and the taker is a giver in a different way - so that also appears to come to ruin. That is because the understood purposes of togetherness for loving embrace are out of balance.

   Certainly, a single man and a single woman are not practiced and adept at the tasks of giving in the fullness of married harmony, even though the concept is partially understood. When there is a past pattern of intimate dating where the activities of marriage are engaged in without marriage, there is an almost irresistible impulse to regard a spouse as suspiciously under scrutiny. The emotionally damaged will feel like getting away as he or she has done before - because the noticing of error is a reminder of how they have ran to escape their own damaging mistakes. This is where imperfections are hidden from the other and motives become skewed.

   It is not that the two people just "don't get along" and need to find someone “new” to get along with, they already have each other. It is that they both care so very much about wanting the best that they beat each other up trying to figure out how to make it work. The problem is that trying to make it work is the problem. It is already working, but life, in its hardships and difficulties, is not easy. When people are disappointed they tell their partner about it, naturally – but in an indirect way that minimizes their own errors in order to find a sense of positive worthiness that reflects the goodness they believe their mate found attractive in them to begin with.

   Attempts to escape troubles this way causes a dishonest covering of the precise humble honesty of inadequacy reality holds for everyone. We are not perfect and the conflicts arise when our partner wishes they could make it better and misunderstands to think the sharing of grief over a situation is blaming us for being the problem. Then, as ideas about having made a mistake in judgment about the circumstances are transferred to ideas about the choice of spouse being the mistake, it is easy to consider that someone else may be easier to deal with.

   Of course, that is when the fight starts… contrary attitudes, oppositional views, and transferring the load of failure to our life partner causes a sense of elated false dignity. Chronic complaining in the guise of compassionate concern is a self-motivated cover of manipulation, role-playing legitimate indignation over evil difficulties, to get from others what God has already supplied – if He were to be obediently asked. Impressions of self defensive safeguards tear apart the actual protections Godly defenses against evil are created. God is not in the business of straining things until they break, and then calling the separation good. People do that.

   Using quicksand as an analogy is fitting to see how personal relationship is an example witness of soul salvation.  Because His plan is no one should be lost, God does not hold us responsible for the errors we cause while flailing about mired in the quicksand of evil influences. Our Rescuer, Jesus Christ, did the pulling out work for us so that we may rely in Him to keep us on firm ground, free in His strength to carry us from being sucked under the surface.

   People hold other people responsible for their sinking troubles (categorized as “past mistakes”) by thinking a person, rather than sinister contrary inhuman entities, are knocking them into sand traps and trying to pull them under. Countless people intentionally, and repeatedly, jump back into the quicksand and yell out to be rescued again simply because they enjoy the experience – the personal attentions another rescuer perhaps will give.

   As a conquest loses its freshness of promise – because an ill conceived joining will always eventually uncover its deceptions - the lost glow of initial discovery combines with guilt to compel a person to reject the sinful union by rejecting the person of accomplice. However, the rejection is no rejection because the identity and nature of knowing the spirit and soul of the other remains. Then another person is found to take the place left open by the previous. The essence of influence of the subverted authority to wrongfully accept the interlacing of others with ones self becomes a compulsion to repeat the process.

   A person forgets who he or she is and becomes a role-playing manipulator of others to fulfill any whim and desire the idolatrous eyes can conjure. If these person’s marry, they are carrying their mixed identities into a defiling of the marriage bed. Comparisons in union are impossible to avoid and corrupt the celebration of oneness at the very point of integrity. Memories of others live on because the sin lives in the knowledge. The only way to remove the spiritual soul presence of the others, and it is very heart rending and difficult, is to fully confess the secret sins of fornication and adultery and to ask for forgiveness.

   There will be times when memories will spur an individual into fantasy. This is exactly when the matter should be honestly shared and purged from the marriage. The husband and wife must honor the name of the marriage, the family of the name, and the Wholeness of Christ through His resurrection if they are to find the authority of the truth of wholesome vitality in their marriage. Darkness, and its influence, shrink and dissolve away as the light of Truth, through repentance, shines forth.

   God provided an inherent need in people to depend on each other unto Him. This is apparent in a curious blessing; Where we are skilled in helping others usually is where we need the most help ourselves. Need, as desire, is why we care enough to fight. As a people, we are fighting evil by fighting other people as if they are the evil when they are not. However, we can turn our rue into woo. There is nothing to cover, good or bad and right or wrong, between a man and woman who are married. A man, for his wife’s sake, may take interest in what pleases her whether he is opposed to what she enjoys or not, giving her the opportunities to be honestly trustworthy. And, a woman may do the same for her husband.

   When a man or woman listens to another not their mate either one is denying the word of faith through their spouse to overcome difficulties they are married to overcome. Confiding in another aligns perspectives to perceptions in and through a different walk of order unto God that cannot be His course of decisions and actions, because those decisions are based in judging and condemning a man’s wife or a woman’s husband according to alternative purposes. God expects others to respect that a particular man and woman are called through their marriage to produce responses to His Word through their word to each other. Only the man and woman of a marriage together can truly know what their marriage is about. It is not anyone else’s place to say.

   Since the division and separation (betrayal of trust) in turning to others for physical, financial, emotional, and religious support severely increases aggravations that arose because of secrecy over personal fears and pains, the tendency is to assume the “marriage is not working” because others are keeping it from working through their inconvenient interest and involvement. But, the marriage is still a marriage with authority in Christ against intrusive opinions and activities from and by others. And, the vows of promise are still in God’s realm of honor to be honored. His answer to a complicated mess like this is simple: The man and woman are in an ongoing faithful position unto God in spirit, no matter the temporal materialistic happenings present, to listen to each other to make the decisions of living.

   The solution is simply for the woman to be with her husband and the man to be with his wife – and for everyone else to keep their mouth and hands out of imposing upon them their influences and will. Work to defend, not your self against your spouse, but each other in acceptance of everything you may be at any given time. Married men and women battle with each other because they care enough about their well-being to defend themselves. They are battling their shared difficulties brought about by the circumstances of the world and its ways contrary to faith and trust - not the person to whom they are married. It isn't that a disagreement is a chasm of difference; it is that a disagreement is an expression of concern – a challenging project to find answers our Creator has for us we do not foresee.

   Fear of success is the same as the fear of failure because the fear that drives motivational pressures to succeed, attempt fruitlessly to counteract internal aggravations – simply because material ambition requires fear to function. However, positive motivation is not a fear driven compensation for insufficiency since it is based in faithful expectations in response to the sure promises of God – in answer to the promises we make to each other. So, 'what' we do is not where carelessness betrays expectations, the 'what' of matters is in judgmental barriers against open honesty, in all a man and woman are, when married. We can take care of what we know about and there is no sin in sneaking… provided there is no sneaking.

   A man grants his wife, through their vows of unconditional promise to each other and God: “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health”, in faith. Because all faith is drawn from Christ’s gift to us, as a measure of His faith on our behalf, He allows us ongoing decisions in following Him. Likewise, since a woman is unto a man as the church is unto Him, a man allows his wife her ongoing decisions in following him, with respect to the church unto faith in Christ, as a woman allows the same for her husband. A man cleaves to carrying his wife while his wife cleaves to being carried by her husband. The call of salvation that brings grace and mercy of redemption to our hearts, souls, minds, bodies, and spirits supplies the Good News of the Gospel in accepting everything in, of, and about our spouse; right, wrong, good, bad, and indifferent in reflection of God’s example to us.

   The authority over a man’s body belongs to his wife, for God’s sake, because He holds their permanent vows in tribute. His authority in respect for their authority in Him, over a wife’s body, belongs to her husband – and the other way around. The choosing of will each has facing the moments of a day is fully accepted by the other for the sake of commitment, personal caring, and free will to do as one wishes with respect to God’s plan by the call of redemption. Healthy companionship in the practicing process of allowing our spouse to openly want and do what they will is true relationship in communication because everything is in, of, and by faith in the Word of God. Trust in acceptance alleviates our fears of betrayal and works our patience in faith-action to see the course we have in pact with our loving and understanding Creator.

   The key is openness: As long as a man and a woman keep each other genuinely informed about their activities; who they married each other as, and to be (who they are at any given time), is fully honored through their vows – whether or not either agrees with or specifically approves particular activities.  Intercession is the core – each of the two is comprised of both and is able to intercede for the other. When there are difficulties we wish our spouse to avoid, instead of embrace, the load of responsibility carried by both naturally unto God, as He is recognized to honor our promises to each other, loses the condemnation of evil through the open honesty of sharing, and is nobody else’s business.

   Our behavioral quirks become an appreciated joy rather than a chaotic curse. Sin is a part of every day for everyone and cannot be avoided, Romans chapter 7; and any hidden matter is an attempt to hide sin and negates our mercy and grace for eternal life, James chapter 5. It is straight forward, simple, and no mystery or magically applied formula, but life is in the balance. God is not a God of concealing; God is a God of revealing and, according to Scripture, does not condemn us.

   Faith in the covering of sin is not an action to conceal acts of betrayal to vows – that would allow an unfaithful sense of false justified secrecy. Faith in action, accountably exercising tolerance in the face of transparent honesty, is the gift of love that continually provides salvation and healing. It cleanses away the fear of discovery as long as privacy protection is kept within the confidence of marriage. God is a God of acceptance through respect, grace, and understanding – when we are married, we openly recognize responsibility in dedicated faith, regarding everything about our mate because we are of each other.

   As we rely in Him to work, in our joint married lives, His spirit of living in a day, we can allow His freedom of confidence in our spouse to lovingly abide seeming immorality, no matter what may be the concern. Permanence is not found by breaking to eliminate ills. Permanence is found in mending… to eliminate ills. The greatest expression of His concern is ever present with us in our realization of living itself, as a gift from God, in an astonishing active expression of our appreciation of the time we are given not to waste. Therefore, there is no circumstance or hardship that is beyond our capacity in honoring our place in life.

2 Corinthians 2:1-11

"There's no such thing as an easy job, not if you do it right."  ~ Karl Malden

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