In all societies and cultures, without exception, where some societies are comprised of one culture and many other societies are made up of various interrelated and conflicting cultures; everybody knows and understands the essential underlying values of love and loving. How each of the individuals and groups across the globe view their belief systems with regard to self-preservation and safety for others comes from concepts and ideals about relationships and how those intensely held perceptions can be transmitted into acted-out active actualization.

   Many of the truths about natural soulful and instinctual purposes in and with loving and being loved are directly distorted in practical application by the very beliefs held dear to social expectations and reasoning. This is because each person is at once created by a supernaturally God designed plan for loving living combined with an outside-of-natural mechanistic/animistic plundering of His reasons for self-determination.

   ‘Mindless Intelligence’ refers to the propensity for humankind to be their own gods of freewill subjugated to interactive independence founded in collective rules of conduct that attempt to reflect balances of beneficial rights as opposed to the imbalances of unfavorable wrongs. ‘Intelligent Mindfulness’ refers to God’s applied desires as demonstrated through humankind’s rightful and freely willful applied desires for fulfillment - interactively dependent upon His leading.

   Caught in the midst of everybody’s battle for the heart of integrity in appreciating life for what it has to offer is the seeming paradox between personal health and happiness and efficient controls to ensure, or attain, the securities necessary to be all each of us inherently knows is available to us; in the, mostly, unrealized facts presented through our insightful consciousness. As self-perpetuating esteem (often extracted from Godly principles applied to the pride of accomplishment) flies in the face of God’s perpetual Truth of Being, there arises a worldly sense of wisdom that needs the failures of others to bolster its sense of legitimacy.

   A person or group of people who believe they are what they do presumes the same for others. Consequently, anyone and everyone are held to false accountability by those who indentify their validity of realism by what they do. Love, then, becomes performance dependent, hatred is applied to believing people’s mistakes are the essence of who they are, and God is then thought to be the dispenser of His laws of retribution through the hands of self-protective idealists toward anyone who does not cater to accepting their own validating awareness drawn from emotional attachment to their activities.

   When the definitions of love and happiness are distorted by purposely or naively ignoring our ongoing place with ourselves and others in the moments of living a day, with respect to Who God creates us to be, we automatically are ‘creating’ the pitfalls we so adamantly defend against. When faith in God’s ever-present predisposition to our reliance in His trustworthiness is abandoned in the face of personal, social, and religious inconsistencies, the ensuing conflicts further distance our definitions of what it means to strive for viability and accountability.

   No matter the will-directing implications of the many religions around the world, including non-religious beliefs, everyone has the same yearnings to live among the living – including those who have disdain for the human condition and its trappings with allusions about the seemingly fruitless reasons for existing at all. Most often, the negative perceptions about things wrong when they clearly should be right are thought to be from and of those who are holding places of malcontent against the wishes of the wisher.

   So, the tried and true axioms of traditional wisdom such as: "Everybody has one soul mate" and "All you need is love" are thought to be romantic fairy tales. It is not that those phrases are untrue; it is that those phrases are misunderstood by a misunderstanding generation of fair-weather naysayers who believe they have found the god of gods in emotional dreams based in chasing pleasant sensations. It is erringly thought that life is saner and happier - carefree - without the necessary work and dedication it takes to tend to a loved one, no matter what, to persevere unto and into the permanent stabilities only faithful togetherness can find.

   The reason the everlasting Gospel of the Christian faith calls everybody who will into doing all each and every person does for His sake is so that all that is done is covered by His loving-kindness. That way, when errors are made, there is an avenue created by God available to assuredly establish the identity of those who trust in His Word. Religions, including rule of law social systems, that work a person’s errors of insight into self-abasement for the purposes of ‘redemptive recompense’ - punishing wrongdoers in a “Do or die!” retaliation for keeping established social order, are in the ‘Righteousness Exploitation’ business.

   As a truly Godless people are defending their belief in ‘God’ through their various methods of emotional/intellectual preponderances, there comes chasms of differences between religions where none of them have any adherence to the desires God Himself shares in all lives of the living at all times. Since God is a God of opportunity, not a God of restriction, people assume that His generosity applies to any kind or sort of endeavor that suits the immediate attentions a person’s or group of people’s interests might engage. Forgotten, or not yet revealed to the searching heart, is that the yearnings of activity any person finds their self drawn to have natural responsibilities that are decidedly different from traditional and anti-traditional believing says directly, or vaguely implies.

   It is the attention in and on sets of social standards based in God’s natural principles, not in themselves less than thoroughly useful, that causes the problems the world is experiencing. To live righteous ways without appreciating the Source of that righteousness is to bend one’s sensibilities into assuming that the righteous ways themselves are the expression of God Himself. Then, anyone who does not respect the pride of accomplished righteous behavior is stigmatized as not faithful to God by not being faithful to self-righteous activities.

   Combine that with identifying one’s self according to what one does and you have a recipe for intolerance, not in the meanings the world system views intolerance as having, but in a pharisaical “I’m with God and you are not” attitude of spheres and set-apart protectionism. Yet more, combine that with honest faithful and sometimes vigorous defense of the Truth of God in Christ, and the world has on its hands an outpouring of religiosity that attempts to suppose that all religions that recognize God as the Creator of the natural order of Laws and Commandments are legitimate means for faith-active pursuits.

   Apply this incongruous exponentially increasingly collapse of faith in Christ for a free and strong United States of America and one can readily understand that a false faith in Christ of America has supplanted the purposes the Constitution was penned. Assuming one’s unfettered rights based on the constitution, or hoped for changes in its foundational intents, belies the document’s validity as the conduit of meaningful checks and balances it is. The ‘troubles of the times’ are being used to “read the minds” of necessary desires based on the will of the population that has lost its way to defend the very freedoms the document upholds by desiring changes the document was drawn forth originally to protect against.

   This erratic application of personal and collective prejudice to have one’s way, as if the US government is the keeper and protector of the personal choices people may indulge, has its roots in believing in the state as the expounder of God’s will (and at the same time belief in the legal rejection of God’s Providence) where the realities of God’s personal application of His graces and mercy is folding into the hands of governmental systematic controls found through the personal attentions of those who hold offices of social consequence: police, municipal, state, and federal leaders; the court systems, business standards, mental health facilities, etc.

   Those people are you, your neighbors, shopkeepers, infrastructure professionals and workers, public servants, healthcare employees… who are placing profit and positional pride ahead of the reasons for providing their services - all with the unsaid/said belief that they are working to protect and keep a better world - at the same time ignoring their own responsibilities to those they serve as reliably alive for the purposes of accepting Christ’s redemptive gift of better living, where His promise in God is to provide His worthiness to whatever endeavor humankind embarks to undertake.

   Surprisingly, most people are loathe to admit that the mess they find themselves fighting to overcome  is due to gossip, disrespect of married togetherness, and a general free-for-all sating of the appetites for sensational experiences - thereby stealing what belongs to fellow citizens. Behind the sardonic ‘love of money’ wall that serves as a backdrop for the polished iconic and distinguished farce, there lies a distorted misapplication of familial responsible social awareness that knows: "True lovers can read each other's minds", taking license by proxy through personal pride, a man or woman extends his or her private familial authority into the public arena.

   It is not the message, or in many cases the misunderstood application of the message, that matters so much as from whom the message is being delivered. As the wisdom of the world, through free-associative expedience, takes the naturally applied gifts of intercommunication through faith-action God designs into the attributes of marriage, and applies those intimately derived responsible responses to His gifts of life, the hour-by-hour, day-to-day, decisions a man and woman rightly may share in God’s creative blessings is wronged in its conversion into the marketplace of a self-aggrandizing collective community interested in progressively prosperous economics.

   The deconstructing results found in broad-spectrum socially competitive upheaval at the expense of family unity are blamed on the failures of parents and families to properly embrace the undermining of their personal and private households… despite deepening economic gloom and the impending climate of destruction the world may be experiencing. To further engrain the evolutional destruction of family strengths and integrity through stolen privileges, privileges stolen through disrespect for the sanctity of the home and its foundational authority over governmental plying into the pocketbook, it is presumed by many that the world is becoming a happier place due to direct and hidden increased taxation.

   This creates a dichotomy of derision within private households to inquire of God for His will to assist a man and woman’s married decisions to do with what they have they may choose. According to an analysis of a quarter of a century of data on financial wellbeing from many countries around the globe, it is believed that catastrophe and hardship create the atmosphere for people to realize a generally increased level of happiness - against the usual wisdom that a country's economic advances translate into increased wellbeing among its citizens. In fact, though hardship and suffering is not the business God is in, the ideas become extended that pain brings gain through the ‘school of hard knocks’.

   The natural results of fewer available resources brings some sense about slowing down the drives – the attempts to fill the voids left open without Christ’s fulfilling livelihood (or, rather, taking advantage of His graces) gives the opportunities for people to realize a more intimate and stable dependence in and on personal responsibilities. But, it is an error to assume the paring back of opulence and wealth is somehow God’s will for His people to more readily recognize His wishes for their better living. If it were, then He would have kept the heights of prosperity from corrupting His people.

   Thus, it is generally accepted that whether a people are abundant in riches or lacking the basic necessities, there is no real God, aside from an emotionally directed centeredness in training one’s self to cope with the circumstances. Extrapolated further into the worldly wisdom of practical religious application, we find the often quoted phrase: “God helps those who help themselves.” Lost in translation are the facts that one; God wishes none should be lost, and two; it is His will that we use whatever we have, no matter how much or little, to respect Who He is by respecting who we are to those around us and who those around us are to us… for His sake.

   We lose our way in His ways by thinking that we must search and destroy anyone and everyone who may be opposed to our own dependence in the principles of self-preservation by thinking we realize that God’s truth, “If God is for us then who can be against us.” means to change others to our liking or eliminate those we care about who are seemingly causing us trouble. We pray for vacation from anyone we deem ungodly so that we may be free to find a more suitable prop for our own defensive false faith and prideful expectations. Consequently, we either dispense with the New Testament or blend its differences into the Old Testament.

   As we have cast aside Who God is in and through those around us, mostly because they or us or everyone involved is misreading the Gospel for standardized perks and embellishments, the search for ‘the only one person out there’ that is right for us becomes a competition with others who are looking for attributes based in instinctual leanings with regard to worldly successes. Relationships replace marriage and become fear based which causes marriage itself to be thought of as fear based. And, fear based directives of threat of loss do give the impression that the goodness of right behavior as opposed to the pitfalls of wrong behavior is a Godly way of faith through works.

   We obsess and clutch to obtain results instead of creating an environment in which two people work to unfold their trusts. Love is the not the “ideological bone women have been thrown” as some do say, it is comprised in the meanings that men of ungodly persuasion often get the real power of influence while women are fed false promises of a ‘magic candy’ romance. Misconstrued is that someone special, a man or woman, will shower us with attention, give us our identity as they see it or wish it to be, read our mind (in lieu of understanding that what God reveals about a love interest is bound to prayer and hopeful faith-in-appreciation), and intuit our needs.

   What has been termed “the myth of love scarcity” is in actuality an awareness for a man and a woman to look for and find God’s approval in and through the bonded married choices they make. Nobody is perfect. If anyone was, then he or she would hold the office only God supplies through Jesus Christ. There is a ‘modern’ line of thought that proclaims the traditional, or natural, romantic understanding that if we could each pick a few songs to banish from our heads, we should nominate all those soggy old refrains that say there is one - and only one -true love for each of us: our better half, our shining knight, the person we'll be lost without.

   That line of thought, it is said, is harmful, feeding an unrealistic and unhealthy self image. In order to empower any man or woman to make independent decisions there is an underlying corrosive push to pressure men and women into loathing their connections with God’s promises through shared faith. It is found when people come to view their selves as powerless to overcome relational difficulties that attentions are diverted to a pleading confusion that requires thrifty overworked ambitions to alleviate the fears of demise.

   As worldly greed for power and control looks for workable solutions to protections and healthful living there arises a categorizing of people according to merits against detriments where those who capitulate to certain standards are given worthy props and those who stand for reliance in God’s alive dealings are mocked into disagreement with reasonably logical patterns of self-absorption ‘for the common good’. When a man’s or woman’s senses of self-worth are dependent upon how someone else treats him or her – they believe that how they are thought of is what makes them who they are, and their loving nature gets corrupted.

   It is God Who determines who we are – but, we have taken God from His throne and believe we own His ways as if He is in service to our desires for self-edification (whether it be on our face before Him in prayer many times a day to get from Him our power of ego, or we are ignoring His care in whatever we may be doing). Women have come to realize that men are lacking in their ungodly faithlessness by choosing to require women to let them determine who they are. It is a negative hinge that turns desire into vulnerability… not a vulnerability of the loss of integrity in who a woman or man is, but a hardhearted pessimistic loss of vulnerability with respect to integrity in who a man and woman are together unto God.

   Dishonoring the humility (human ability)a man and woman have together in marriage by defending personal rights to individual choice, aside from those choices being in faith for Christ’s sake, changes the natural purposes of their bodies from sites of pleasure to sites of betrayal, and transforms solitude and its appreciated counterpart of togetherness  into loneliness without promise for companionship. Finding a gap in Godly ordained natural fellowship, the open door to self-preservation, sanity, and functional survival then remains gainful employment and the things money can buy.

   Then when people say they are lonely, what they are actually saying is that they don't like their own company. And something should be done about that, because if you don't like your own company, then you're the victim of whoever passes by. This is where any social collective, government or otherwise, that plies its confusions into the personal responsibilities marriage and family present is aiming for controls over population densities, economic prevalence, and the powers of manipulative order. “Only the strong survive.” “It’s a dog eat dog world.” “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”

   A person, man or woman, can work a hard won fight for a strong sense of self and win the battle. But, the battle is lost when it is realized that not only are they not who God intends them to be, they have left a collection of destruction in the wake of their progress to self actualization. Multiply one man and one woman by the hundreds of millions of men and women in the United States of America alone and it is not difficult to see why the continent has the most incarcerated people, per capita, of any country in the world.

   Usually disregarded when thoughts about prison populations arise are all the digressive loads involved with and in each of the families of each of the people in prison, the overall tax burden to keep the millions of jailed men and women fed and housed, combined with support from public coffers for those families in consequential economic hardship is beyond imagination. A country’s citizens' satisfaction with life tells of the people who inhabit that country. But, the great paradox, the discrepancy between perspectives about the strengths and weaknesses of the United States of America cannot be found in weaknesses in the Constitution, or for that matter its people.

   The apparent weaknesses the US is thought to possess is in the minds and hearts of envious, jealous, and faithless people around the world who do not know a good thing when they see it. This is why it is wrongly thought that changes in the principles on which the country is founded are viable for a new era of difference our forefathers had no way of realizing. With God there is never, and never has been, any scarcity of love. The problem is, human beings have a curious way of not understanding what love is and what the expression of love, as different from physical gratification, means. Since it is recorded in Scriptures and elsewhere that God Himself is love, there has arisen through the eons of history the misappropriation of what people determine is love.

   Because God is love there is a natural way that love works, and there is an unnatural way that love does not work. The reason it seems as if there are other forms of love that do not comply with traditionally held standards for society to adhere is the patience and endurance God extends through Christ to give the freedoms of will for anyone to turn their trust in faith to His ways in guiding his or her ways. The pervading psychologically driven assumptions spurred on by the drug induced haze of free-wheeling free will, in tandem with matter-of-fact mortal reasoning, has a ‘make love not war’ appreciation for the sanctity of life.

   But, it is those same people who use situational ethics to explain away the taking of life through abortion. They do so because they fail to understand the wisdom of God’s freedoms through the responsibilities of His love as different from the uncommitted ‘love’ secularism views love to be. They advertize an irresponsible ‘freedom’ in defining a making of love as intimate sexual involvement where self appreciation is dependent upon using others as commodities and appliances. “I like this and I don’t like that” becomes “I love this and I hate that” where pleasurable sensations are identified with love’s dependability. As many people recognize that it is naturally possible to enjoy working and at the same time to not love the job the work entails, either because of or without regard to a paycheck, it can also be understood that the many undesired chores of living are desirable in their doing because of their beneficial results.

   False ideals such as finding love with coworkers, with friends and neighbors, in dance classes; virtually wherever anyone is consensually willing for an encounter provides a false love found in what the world offers; in essence it is a loving of one’s own vitality – the loving of the blessings of God without loving Him in the ways He asks to be loved. It is a love that is no love at all but an infatuation with wanting to be wanted. Without question, there can be passionate embracing between a man and a woman, between people of all persuasions where the emotions are open and a person can be whoever they wish to be… including the secret intriguing thrills of getting away with hidden and stolen pleasures… rolls can be played: your 7-year-old self, your 30-year-old self, your 60-year-old self, your male self, your female self, etc. And anyone who is party to the sham can say, “I understand your game, and here I am to play.”

   Sometimes one might act a spoiled brat, and sometimes straight-up, and sometimes quirky or aloof. But a relationship outside marriage between a man and woman is necessarily an ‘emotional peership’ between partners who are already working toward becoming what they erringly believe are fuller and fuller individuals. And fuller and fuller they are… of the worlds false wisdom of feelings without responsibility that actually tout irresponsibility as the responsibility of free will to choose. Getting happier is the goal. The goals of finding more happiness are in the giving up of high expectations and careful standards, or rather, corrupting the natural sensitivities honor and integrity bring through refusing to degrade common sense concerning the natural use and respect for the how, or why, the body functions.

   For self-serving thrill seekers getting happier means to either reduce expectations or increase possessions and the experiences those possessions can bring. Those who believe in the concepts of personal happiness as the goals of living, but have heartfelt convictions about their orientation to cultural lack of committed restraints believe in strong emotionally based religious and family traditions where poverty is thought to be a ‘blessing in disguise’ where the strengths of patient anger over inadequacy serve to help them cope with appreciating what they have, while at the same time they are thankful when they advance steadily economically.

   That way the inconsistent ideal that God gave them life for the purposes of their happiness, at His expense, remains an egotistical pride that subtly contradicts their faith. It is not a true love as it is given from God naturally through commitment and loyalty - though loyalty to a cause may spur emotional attachments and enthusiasm; it is experiential enjoyment as opposed to disenchantment with pitfalls and falls under the meanings of infatuation rather than love. ‘Chemistry’ compatibility, whether of social order, governmental service, community tranquility, married unity, family respect, or business ethics, always and at all times involves each person’s faith in Christ, or lack of the same. Unions of time and decision in any application of personal will require both heart and mind.

   Balancing the multitasking responsible rolls each and every person attends their attentions to is difficult at the least and a monster of monsters at the most when emotionally imaginative patterns of self-assuredness are founded in what makes one feel good in opposition to anything and everything that is disruptive to the desired order of their disorder. This is why it is necessary to be wary of unexamined attractions. But, examining one’s attractions has no beneficially fruitful results without faith and trust in God through His Word. Here, it is not meant the Holy Bible as many think if it as “The Inherent and Infallible Word of God” – the true Word of God is the Man of redemption and justification for all, Jesus Christ.

   This is easier to understand when it is considered that faith in Christ’s alive and well Holy Spirit of Truth is not found in the various meanings of different translations of Scripture. The Truth of God through Christ is the very dynamic power that keeps the universe in existence. We, as people living a part of that on-going existence (each and every one of us) have a naturally designed purpose that God’s will seeks to guide according to trust in Him through each their own naturally born fleshly design. Often what we call chemistry is a mix of familiarity and anxiety, the instinctual emotional compensations resident in unfulfilled faith in Christ, and it provides excuses for not having to trust God’s guidance through the hand of those to whom one is committed whether or not those others are actively faithful in their walk for His sake.

   Everything in and of the world’s estrangement from God through faith in Christ is bound to balancing personal integration with, and resistance to, experiences. When the sensations of experience take on the attributes of love’s promise through attempts at self validation, those sensations are on a course of divergence away from the naturally created reasons those experiences are available to receive. It is not what you do, it is why you do what you do… and with whom. Putting that into perspective, the Bible says that everything exists in, of, and by the Word of God. So, it should be readily apparent that anything anyone does is subject to His Word, Jesus Christ (John 1:1-14). That means the intimate love, as different from physical pleasures, available to everybody is properly manifested through God’s will of promise in and through marriage and the vows that enable God’s righteousness to flow through the agreement.

   Feelings are great, but feelings are not the reasons people have brains and a heart to respond to what is right in and through their promises no matter how they feel about it. People always have the opportunity to decide what to do with their feelings, and people can decide to distinguish between their feelings and their emotions, their thoughts and their decisions about those thoughts; all with regard to their own authority with anyone else who shares the proper understood levels and orders of God designed authorities based in following through with those committed promises. When there are conflicts with opinion, and/or circumstances, God’s declared will in Christ’s mercy of grace always prevails in the established familial structures of marriage first, immediate family next, and so on.

   It is thought that adults meet their own needs. If anyone were created to be an independent island, then of course there would be a created purpose in their isolation. But, people are created to be socially ordered where a man with a woman in marriage depend on their God given, and shared, measure of faith to rely in His moment by moment naturally supplied blessings. The only way the fullness of His power of creative responsibility flows in and through the lives and hearts of those who put their trust in Him is with respect to those involved honestly realizing their place unto each other exclusively for the purposes of benefit to God by benefitting each other with their honest exchanges.

   In an inverted and backward way, where an intimate clandestine liaison (cheating – sexual or not) takes place, shared personal confidences take on the false securities of willful justification a person has in his or her exclusive rights to express concerns with their spouse. Stolen trustworthiness stimulates barriers aligned with the pride of personal accomplishment over the natural complexities of faithful living. When trusts of marriage are compromised by secrecy, when a man or woman steps outside the bounds of their promised ‘to have and to hold’ commitments of matrimonial privacy, the binding results of guilt and shame immediately take hold to orient one’s attentions toward the ‘other’ party.

   Forgotten through the fears of discovery is that whatever a married man or woman does, and/or whoever he or she confides their sensibilities with, are matters that also remain their mate's full responsibility. When a married man and woman are understandingly living in a usually expected open trust through candid honesty, their gain is a natural protective privacy no other human individual or group is able to drive a wedge into. In that is the protection for any children they may have responsibility to maintain including the necessary strengths of unity a child needs for a stable example of God in Christ’s witness for the children’s rearing into the trusts of accountability their ordinary lives require.

   With regard to romance and the choosing of a mate it is thought by many experts in relationship counseling circles that the ways of fantasy romance (the display of hopes, dreams, desires, ultimate expectations, sharing grandiose plans), rather than completing people’s lives, undoes their happiness and well being. One of the reasons this idea seems to be gaining momentum is the varied cultural clashes unfettered social standards cause. The sound stable family structure is under attack from all sides. It is extremely more difficult to retain and maintain proper God respecting rolls within and without the family home in America than it ever has been throughout the history of the country.

   But, those who formed the basis for the United States were not lacking in wisdom from God or understanding about His ways of purpose for any people in present or future times that may endeavor to build a land’s administration for the sake of His natural designs. Many people search for ways to separate romantic passion from the misconceptions that often surround it and find their efforts lacking without knowing why. So, conclusions are drawn to resort to self assurance that uses others as it is felt one has been used in an attempt to spitefully ‘balance fate with karma’. Not realized is the simple fact that “all have fallen short of the glory of God” and “There is none righteous, no, not one.”

   ‘Western culture’, as it has been called, tends to interpret Scriptures individually, selfishly, and independently without realizing that the personal convictions of heart revealed by Scripture’s witness is God’s Holy Spirit of Truth speaking to him or her about the place their husband, wife, or children hold in their love for who they are in their responsibilities. Usually, when a man or woman gains a faithful spiritual insight concerning present circumstances, the resentful application of the ego self seeks to point out irregularities, inconsistencies, and dodged duties he or she believes are their mate’s shortfalls.

   And, there may be a legitimate shortfall, or two, or three… but the purpose for a man’s or woman’s heart conviction in a matter is for that person to realize their own duties of responsibility in Christ for either another or their self to take up the matter(s) for God’s application of healing. This is another reason forthright open honesty, without the usual fears of reprise, is essential for growth in faith unto salvation. This is also where the proper working of patience and tolerance is aptly applied. Usually, the biggest hitch in working communications is concerning emotional attitudes displayed through tone and manner rather than actual words of meaning.

   The unrealized habits many people embrace through their active intellect are false assumptions about intentions based upon various degrees of projected intensity.  Thus, approaches are made into the issues of a moment compared with past moments to affect future moments by implying, hinting, suggesting, and manipulating requests, statements of belief, and admonishments without candid direct and forthright honesty. So, though the content of pleasant co-habitation may be readily present at all times, the manner of temperament hinders due order to bring solutions, reconciliation, and better ways to a grinding halt.

   Once a household’s basic needs have been fulfilled, having shelter, enough food to eat, and so on, further economic development seems to stagnate when the primary goals of relationship bliss are more happiness. While social scientists call this the "hedonic treadmill" maintaining what already is accomplished seems to become a stasis where progress seems bound to time’s wicked penchant for inevitable monotony. This is because the gift of living has overcome the reasons for the gift – and/or the reasons for the gift have overcome the Giver of the gift. Not actively recognizing reasonable thankfulness for a day’s protections and living amenities allows the doors of complacency to gradually open wide to envy, strife, jealousies, greed, anguish, etc.

   Unless a person is open and honest with their mate about their intentions, their concerns, their activities, and their troubles, the other party is left to assuming as they wish whatever comes to mind - most usually ideals formed by imaginative emotionally charged thought loops that do not represent the concerns their mate has. "Mind reading," is actually a useful understanding about the basic cares of another mixed with an understanding about their personal likes and dislikes. ‘Thinking for others’ is necessary between parents and children, especially with infants and toddlers, but not in intimate personal relationship between adults. God designed Creation itself according to a Word of life and blessed people with the abilities to communicate their will and desires for decision making.

   When people load other people with expectations based in their commitments, by anticipating their thoughts and desires with self-serving intentions, they are actually looking looking for an idealized parent - usually a combination of Mommy and Daddy wrapped into one. While it is true that a husband and wife do occasionally fulfill the rolls of Mommy and Daddy for each other, it is unwise to place our Father in heaven in the mix in such a way as to expect a god-type all knowing automatic service to the whims of desire. A way to properly combat taking for granted unsaid expectations is to consciously make the efforts to understand that God Himself asks us to pray to Him for our concerns in the Name of Christ Who acquired all things good and fruitful for our well being.

   “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened.” is not only the way we are prompted by God to appeal to His graces, it is also the model for how a husband and wife is to tend to each other. When Christ led the way for His disciples with, “Follow Me” it was an invitation to do as He did. During the time He spent with His disciples, He led them to do as He did because He is the One and only one Who who created the ways nature functions for His good pleasure for the good purposes humankind is floundering in its miseries by misappropriating His justification.

   This is why Ephesians chapter 5:21-25 states, Submitting yourselves one to another in reverence of Christ, Ye wives, unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, Because, a husband is the head of his wife as the Christ also is the head of the assembly, He being the savior of the body, Nevertheless, as the assembly submits herself unto the Christ, so also the wives unto their husbands in everything: Ye husbands, be loving your wives even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and delivered Himself up in her behalf.

   Lest the standard misconceptions about women being inferior to men rear their ugly head because of the term ‘subjection’, rest assured that a man’s duties in subjection to Christ for his wife’s sake are no ‘walk in the park’. The benefit a woman has “under a man’s authority” where the only authority a man has over a woman who is not an underage child is through the bond of marriage, is the freedom she has with her eloquently honed vocabulary to place the all of her concerns in her husband’s responsibilities to God in Christ. The weight of those responsibilities are surely shared between a man and his wife since they are considered integrated as one in God’s attentions but God is not lacking in knowing their differences of covering mercy of grace in Christ’s wholeness.

   Women most often look for men who might think they are charming and who will make them feel safe. What they are actually looking for is a man who has ‘God’s favor’ working through their sensibilities. When there is a woman who equates safety with financial prosperity, she looks for a man who is either wealthy or has the capacity to become wealthy. That is a woman who has been failed by unlearned parents or adverse experiences in life where God became, for some reason, a magical genie in the sky whose sole purpose in His services to humankind rests in His ability to provide overflowing prosperity for anyone who is “right with Him”.

   Financially strapped? – all the same as being not right with God. Many false evangelistic and “the church-house is where God is” organized church ministries have been quite adept at furthering the “Faith in God equals what money can do through His love” message that gives credence to the suggestion in 1st Timothy 6:10, For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Women want a man with strong arms to forego the trials of the world’s wiles and men want a woman with honest and trustworthy expedience in sharing their concerns about their shared responsibilities in caring for a household. Both want from each other satisfaction that only can be grasped with respect to Christ’s integrity through each their acceptance of the other as who He makes them to be.

   As trends and personal ideas and ideals have stomped their way through the hearts and minds of generations of misrepresented Christianity, people have come to look for things different in intimate relations than they are created to see and understand. However, as everyone has in their heart of hearts the natural understanding about their errors in living, they either are running as hard as they can to avoid facing their responsible forthright need to recognize Who God is, because they do not have the peace of God’s understanding in their hearts; or they are actively working out their fears about the unknowns of inter-relational responsibilities by flinging their selves into experiences to gain emotional stimulations through physically sensational activities that masquerade as the goodness of living.

   Whether a man or woman, we all want to feel special and dear, we want to know that we matter and our light of awareness is important - with our foibles and unfinished personable potential bathed in the loving glow of a doting father. At the same time that we want Daddy's strong arms, we also want a mother's sweetness and tenderness.  These things can only be properly actualized by and through a direct and conscious choice to be for those we love as we believe God wishes us to be. There are of course, in putting God first through faith in His promises, times when we cannot bend to manipulations meant to pit us against our better judgment where giving in to exploitation would lose the purposes we made our commitments.

   Sometimes we need to remain committed to our commitments, even if it seems we are in opposition to peace and prosperity and/or when it appears we are in opposition to our spouse, in order to be that steadfast witness of stick-to-itiveness that putting God first for the sake of our married dependability we promised our wife or husband when we made our wedding vows. But, in the overall, when situations or circumstances make it seem a romance is going or has gone south, there are the natural feelings that resemble the times when childhood’s fears brought the terrors of abandonment and loss. The temptation, then, is to look to something readily at hand, anything easily acquired that will ease the pains of discouragement.

   Then, as emotionally spun doubtful thoughts take hold of a person’s will to decide, his or her natural instinctual fears push self-defensive rights to fight in the Name of God into confrontational errors. Though the other party of a marriage is also experiencing the same realities, but in a necessarily different way, misunderstandings eventually lead properly committed sensibilities on into insensibility and eventually drive a person into withdrawal simply due to exhaustion and seclusion. Standoffish rebellion then takes hold to bind the very communications needed for resolution and reconciliation… into silence.

   As fatalism is the anti-faith determination to take matters into one’s own hands, subjective well being as opposed to optimistic potential leads one’s attentions toward distrust of interpersonal reliability and, therefore, distrust in God Himself and the reality of life in Christ. Psychologically applied coping mechanisms take the place of vulnerable trust through faith in the invulnerability of God’s wisdom and His wisdom takes on an “Everything has a reason.” numb-minded-ness that explains everything adverse to happiness away as ‘the troubles of life’. Lost in the balance are those who care deeply about making headway against adversity, overcoming the obstacles that seem to be so powerfully against right things in right ways.

    We naturally fall in love with and marry someone who resembles that man or woman who represents a stable father or a caring mother. They bring us out into the world of personally decided maturity. And if we are secure in our faith, we grow up to want something more interesting than parent-child love – something different and more personally fulfilling and real. We want an adult partnership. But, the precondition for that is a good relationship with ourselves where we know to understand that being served comes through serving. When we retain the childlike narcissistic leaning belief that the world revolves around our own desires, we lose sight of the empathy others desire to share by thinking empathy is designed to get for us our own satisfying results.

   This is where realizing that our duties to God supersede His duties to us - that we already are living an aware existence by His creative hand – that our appreciation of His ways through honoring, no matter what, the loyalties a household requires to function finds the realistic satisfactions in doing whatever we do for His sake. The advantage in faithfully defending the structure of marriage and the promises it promises to uphold, instead of defending one’s self against thought-to-be incompatibilities and affronts to self-worth are the definitions of happiness, integrity, peace of mind, viability, respect, and decency take on in the here-to-fore unrealized sense of validation in being loved and loving.

   The invitation God presents to us in the Gospel of salvation through faith in Christ is an invitation to us to share in His creativity. It is a reality in Him that far surpasses any earthly training and advancement we might use to become who we dream we might become. In addition to that, the abilities to function well to accomplish the earthly interests we desire to learn are better accommodated when our attentions are rightly mature in accepting our personally validating positions in marriage and family. While it is obvious that other members of our personal lives are in various stages of acceptance and faith-active awareness - many times in vigorous opposition to our caring concerns in Christ - we are surely in God’s eternal will to carry through our determinations for His sake.

   Through faith in His leading, we create abundant lives for ourselves with open and honest cooperation from others. Many churches are spreading false rumors about Christ’s merciful loving-kindness by intensifying emotional surrealism through idolizing hardship, suffering, and pain as points of contact for the application of power viability. It is erringly said that faith enters through a wound – that wisdom comes through our wounds, further saying that our wounds need to turn into our blessings. But, Jesus said, “Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” Our wounds are not the stepping stones of glory. Rather, our pain and suffering is not for us to own.

   The relational problem with believing in the developmental benefits of self-validating pleasure through pain is the fact that social convention is embracing false ideals based in learning from our mistakes in ways where intentional mistakes may be engaged in order to work the frustrating pains of inconsistency to reach higher heights of experiential wisdom. Thus, it is necessary to ferret out the incompatible differences others have intimately with us in order to eliminate them from our presence – all the while accepting the wrongs of rejection as a blessing in disguise along the pathway of our journey of self-realization. Trouble with that is, the greater the collection of pleasure-through-pain discoveries we make, the further we are from who God wants us to be.

   His ways, as different from man’s ways, (Isaiah 55:1-8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.) are not about people’s pop-psyche affirmations that tend to stringing anyone who will listen along. They say, "Happiness is the gap between what you have and what you expect to have in life. If that gap is very small then you are happy, and if it is quite wide then naturally you are quite unhappy." The error found in that concept is based in the squandering of respected loyalties and devotions into a calloused disregard for the sensibilities and concerns of those who genuinely do care for our welfare.

   Frankly, satan sees Christ’s servants burdened because of the spiritual darkness that enshrouds the population as a whole. He hears their earnest prayers for divine grace and power to break the spell of indifference, carelessness, and indolence. Then with renewed zeal her plies his arts. He tempts men and women to the indulgences of appetite or to some other form of self-gratification – many times through indignant frustrations against others. Thus, sensibilities are benumbed so that they fail to hear the very things which they most need to embrace.

   The smorgasbord of the world’s various offerings advertises that nobody should limit one’s self to a single partner that, just as each and every person has different attributes, we may involve ourselves with their personal personification as if each person is sorely lacking in the fullness of God’s creation. Disbanded and disoriented faith is the reason it seems that a collective of relationships has a higher value for our self-development – quite the opposite from the unity of distinctive identity God supplies to those who conform to the commitments of marriage for His glory and the on-going well being of our dedications with a mate.

"If you are taking insult from what I said, you haven't been paying attention."  ~ William F. Buckley