Mindless Intelligence vs. Intelligent Mindfulness
In all societies and cultures, without exception,
where some societies are comprised of one culture and many other societies are made up of various interrelated and conflicting
cultures; everybody knows and understands the essential underlying values of love and loving. How each of the individuals
and groups across the globe view their belief systems with regard to self-preservation and safety for others comes from concepts
and ideals about relationships and how those intensely held perceptions can be transmitted into acted-out active actualization.
Many of the truths about natural soulful and
instinctual purposes in and with loving and being loved are directly distorted in practical application by the very beliefs
held dear to social expectations and reasoning. This is because each person is at once created by a supernaturally God designed
plan for loving living combined with an outside-of-natural mechanistic/animistic plundering of His reasons for self-determination.
‘Mindless Intelligence’ refers
to the propensity for humankind to be their own gods of freewill subjugated to interactive independence founded in collective
rules of conduct that attempt to reflect balances of beneficial rights as opposed to the imbalances of unfavorable wrongs.
‘Intelligent Mindfulness’ refers to God’s applied desires as demonstrated through humankind’s rightful
and freely willful applied desires for fulfillment - interactively dependent upon His leading.
Caught in the midst of everybody’s battle
for the heart of integrity in appreciating life for what it has to offer is the seeming paradox between personal health and
happiness and efficient controls to ensure, or attain, the securities necessary to be all each of us inherently knows is available
to us; in the, mostly, unrealized facts presented through our insightful consciousness. As self-perpetuating esteem (often
extracted from Godly principles applied to the pride of accomplishment) flies in the face of God’s perpetual Truth of
Being, there arises a worldly sense of wisdom that needs the failures of others to bolster its sense of legitimacy.
A person or group of people who believe they
are what they do presumes the same for others. Consequently, anyone and everyone are held to false accountability by those
who indentify their validity of realism by what they do. Love, then, becomes performance dependent, hatred is applied to believing
people’s mistakes are the essence of who they are, and God is then thought to be the dispenser of His laws of retribution
through the hands of self-protective idealists toward anyone who does not cater to accepting their own validating awareness
drawn from emotional attachment to their activities.
When the definitions of love and happiness
are distorted by purposely or naively ignoring our ongoing place with ourselves and others in the moments of living a day,
with respect to Who God creates us to be, we automatically are ‘creating’ the pitfalls we so adamantly defend
against. When faith in God’s ever-present predisposition to our reliance in His trustworthiness is abandoned in the
face of personal, social, and religious inconsistencies, the ensuing conflicts further distance our definitions of what it
means to strive for viability and accountability.
No matter the will-directing implications of
the many religions around the world, including non-religious beliefs, everyone has the same yearnings to live among the living
– including those who have disdain for the human condition and its trappings with allusions about the seemingly fruitless
reasons for existing at all. Most often, the negative perceptions about things wrong when they clearly should be right are
thought to be from and of those who are holding places of malcontent against the wishes of the wisher.
So, the tried and true axioms of traditional
wisdom such as: "Everybody has one soul mate" and "All you need is love" are thought to be romantic fairy tales. It is not
that those phrases are untrue; it is that those phrases are misunderstood by a misunderstanding generation of fair-weather
naysayers who believe they have found the god of gods in emotional dreams based in chasing pleasant sensations. It is erringly
thought that life is saner and happier - carefree - without the necessary work and dedication it takes to tend to a loved
one, no matter what, to persevere unto and into the permanent stabilities only faithful togetherness can find.
The reason the everlasting Gospel of the Christian
faith calls everybody who will into doing all each and every person does for His sake is so that all that is done is covered
by His loving-kindness. That way, when errors are made, there is an avenue created by God available to assuredly establish
the identity of those who trust in His Word. Religions, including rule of law social systems, that work a person’s errors
of insight into self-abasement for the purposes of ‘redemptive recompense’ - punishing wrongdoers in a “Do
or die!” retaliation for keeping established social order, are in the ‘Righteousness Exploitation’ business.
As a truly Godless people are defending their
belief in ‘God’ through their various methods of emotional/intellectual preponderances, there comes chasms of
differences between religions where none of them have any adherence to the desires God Himself shares in all lives of the
living at all times. Since God is a God of opportunity, not a God of restriction, people assume that His generosity applies
to any kind or sort of endeavor that suits the immediate attentions a person’s or group of people’s interests
might engage. Forgotten, or not yet revealed to the searching heart, is that the yearnings of activity any person finds their
self drawn to have natural responsibilities that are decidedly different from traditional and anti-traditional believing says
directly, or vaguely implies.
It is the attention in and on sets of social
standards based in God’s natural principles, not in themselves less than thoroughly useful, that causes the problems
the world is experiencing. To live righteous ways without appreciating the Source of that righteousness is to bend one’s
sensibilities into assuming that the righteous ways themselves are the expression of God Himself. Then, anyone who does not
respect the pride of accomplished righteous behavior is stigmatized as not faithful to God by not being faithful to self-righteous
Combine that with identifying one’s self
according to what one does and you have a recipe for intolerance, not in the meanings the world system views intolerance as
having, but in a pharisaical “I’m with God and you are not” attitude of spheres and set-apart protectionism.
Yet more, combine that with honest faithful and sometimes vigorous defense of the Truth of God in Christ, and the world has
on its hands an outpouring of religiosity that attempts to suppose that all religions that recognize God as the Creator of
the natural order of Laws and Commandments are legitimate means for faith-active pursuits.
Apply this incongruous exponentially increasingly
collapse of faith in Christ for a free and strong United States of America and one can readily understand that a false faith
in Christ of America has supplanted the purposes the Constitution was penned. Assuming one’s unfettered rights based
on the constitution, or hoped for changes in its foundational intents, belies the document’s validity as the conduit
of meaningful checks and balances it is. The ‘troubles of the times’ are being used to “read the minds”
of necessary desires based on the will of the population that has lost its way to defend the very freedoms the document upholds
by desiring changes the document was drawn forth originally to protect against.
This erratic application of personal and collective
prejudice to have one’s way, as if the US government is the keeper and protector of the personal choices people may
indulge, has its roots in believing in the state as the expounder of God’s will (and at the same time belief in the
legal rejection of God’s Providence) where the realities of God’s personal application of His graces and mercy
is folding into the hands of governmental systematic controls found through the personal attentions of those who hold offices
of social consequence: police, municipal, state, and federal leaders; the court systems, business standards, mental health
Those people are you, your neighbors, shopkeepers,
infrastructure professionals and workers, public servants, healthcare employees… who are placing profit and positional
pride ahead of the reasons for providing their services - all with the unsaid/said belief that they are working to protect
and keep a better world - at the same time ignoring their own responsibilities to those they serve as reliably alive for the
purposes of accepting Christ’s redemptive gift of better living, where His promise in God is to provide His worthiness
to whatever endeavor humankind embarks to undertake.
Surprisingly, most people are loathe to admit
that the mess they find themselves fighting to overcome is due to gossip, disrespect
of married togetherness, and a general free-for-all sating of the appetites for sensational experiences - thereby stealing
what belongs to fellow citizens. Behind the sardonic ‘love of money’ wall that serves as a backdrop for the polished
iconic and distinguished farce, there lies a distorted misapplication of familial responsible social awareness that knows:
"True lovers can read each other's minds", taking license by proxy through personal pride, a man or woman extends his or her
private familial authority into the public arena.
It is not the message, or in many cases the
misunderstood application of the message, that matters so much as from whom the message is being delivered. As the wisdom
of the world, through free-associative expedience, takes the naturally applied gifts of intercommunication through faith-action
God designs into the attributes of marriage, and applies those intimately derived responsible responses to His gifts of life,
the hour-by-hour, day-to-day, decisions a man and woman rightly may share in God’s creative blessings is wronged in
its conversion into the marketplace of a self-aggrandizing collective community interested in progressively prosperous economics.
The deconstructing results found in broad-spectrum
socially competitive upheaval at the expense of family unity are blamed on the failures of parents and families to properly
embrace the undermining of their personal and private households… despite deepening economic gloom and the impending
climate of destruction the world may be experiencing. To further engrain the evolutional destruction of family strengths and
integrity through stolen privileges, privileges stolen through disrespect for the sanctity of the home and its foundational
authority over governmental plying into the pocketbook, it is presumed by many that the world is becoming a happier place
due to direct and hidden increased taxation.
This creates a dichotomy of derision within
private households to inquire of God for His will to assist a man and woman’s married decisions to do with what they
have they may choose. According to an analysis of a quarter of a century of data on financial wellbeing from many countries
around the globe, it is believed that catastrophe and hardship create the atmosphere for people to realize a generally increased
level of happiness - against the usual wisdom that a country's economic advances translate into increased wellbeing among
its citizens. In fact, though hardship and suffering is not the business God is in, the ideas become extended that pain brings
gain through the ‘school of hard knocks’.
natural results of fewer available resources brings some sense about slowing down the drives – the attempts to fill
the voids left open without Christ’s fulfilling livelihood (or, rather, taking advantage of His graces) gives the opportunities
for people to realize a more intimate and stable dependence in and on personal responsibilities. But, it is an error to assume
the paring back of opulence and wealth is somehow God’s will for His people to more readily recognize His wishes for
their better living. If it were, then He would have kept the heights of prosperity from corrupting His people.
Thus, it is generally accepted that whether
a people are abundant in riches or lacking the basic necessities, there is no real God, aside from an emotionally directed
centeredness in training one’s self to cope with the circumstances. Extrapolated further into the worldly wisdom of
practical religious application, we find the often quoted phrase: “God helps those who help themselves.” Lost
in translation are the facts that one; God wishes none should be lost, and two; it is His will that we use whatever we have,
no matter how much or little, to respect Who He is by respecting who we are to those around us and who those around us are
to us… for His sake.
We lose our way in His ways by thinking that
we must search and destroy anyone and everyone who may be opposed to our own dependence in the principles of self-preservation
by thinking we realize that God’s truth, “If God is for us then who can be against us.” means to change
others to our liking or eliminate those we care about who are seemingly causing us trouble. We pray for vacation from anyone
we deem ungodly so that we may be free to find a more suitable prop for our own defensive false faith and prideful expectations.
Consequently, we either dispense with the New Testament or blend its differences into the Old Testament.
As we have cast aside Who God is in and through
those around us, mostly because they or us or everyone involved is misreading the Gospel for standardized perks and embellishments,
the search for ‘the only one person out there’ that is right for us becomes a competition with others who are
looking for attributes based in instinctual leanings with regard to worldly successes. Relationships replace marriage and
become fear based which causes marriage itself to be thought of as fear based. And, fear based directives of threat of loss
do give the impression that the goodness of right behavior as opposed to the pitfalls of wrong behavior is a Godly way of
faith through works.
We obsess and clutch to obtain results instead
of creating an environment in which two people work to unfold their trusts. Love is the not the “ideological bone women
have been thrown” as some do say, it is comprised in the meanings that men of ungodly persuasion often get the real
power of influence while women are fed false promises of a ‘magic candy’ romance. Misconstrued is that someone
special, a man or woman, will shower us with attention, give us our identity as they see it or wish it to be, read our mind
(in lieu of understanding that what God reveals about a love interest is bound to prayer and hopeful faith-in-appreciation),
and intuit our needs.
What has been termed “the myth of love
scarcity” is in actuality an awareness for a man and a woman to look for and find God’s approval in and through
the bonded married choices they make. Nobody is perfect. If anyone was, then he or she would hold the office only God supplies
through Jesus Christ. There is a ‘modern’ line of thought that proclaims the traditional, or natural, romantic
understanding that if we could each pick a few songs to banish from our heads, we should nominate all those soggy old refrains
that say there is one - and only one -true love for each of us: our better half, our shining knight, the person we'll be lost
That line of thought, it is said, is harmful,
feeding an unrealistic and unhealthy self image. In order to empower any man or woman to make independent decisions there
is an underlying corrosive push to pressure men and women into loathing their connections with God’s promises through
shared faith. It is found when people come to view their selves as powerless to overcome relational difficulties that attentions
are diverted to a pleading confusion that requires thrifty overworked ambitions to alleviate the fears of demise.
As worldly greed for power and control looks
for workable solutions to protections and healthful living there arises a categorizing of people according to merits against
detriments where those who capitulate to certain standards are given worthy props and those who stand for reliance in God’s
alive dealings are mocked into disagreement with reasonably logical patterns of self-absorption ‘for the common good’.
When a man’s or woman’s senses of self-worth are dependent upon how someone else treats him or her – they
believe that how they are thought of is what makes them who they are, and their loving nature gets corrupted.
It is God Who determines who we are –
but, we have taken God from His throne and believe we own His ways as if He is in service to our desires for self-edification
(whether it be on our face before Him in prayer many times a day to get from Him our power of ego, or we are ignoring His
care in whatever we may be doing). Women have come to realize that men are lacking in their ungodly faithlessness by choosing
to require women to let them determine who they are. It is a negative hinge that turns desire into vulnerability… not
a vulnerability of the loss of integrity in who a woman or man is, but a hardhearted pessimistic loss of vulnerability with
respect to integrity in who a man and woman are together unto God.
Dishonoring the humility (human ability)a man
and woman have together in marriage by defending personal rights to individual choice, aside from those choices being in faith
for Christ’s sake, changes the natural purposes of their bodies from sites of pleasure to sites of betrayal, and transforms
solitude and its appreciated counterpart of togetherness into loneliness without
promise for companionship. Finding a gap in Godly ordained natural fellowship, the open door to self-preservation, sanity,
and functional survival then remains gainful employment and the things money can buy.
Then when people say they are lonely, what
they are actually saying is that they don't like their own company. And something should be done about that, because if you
don't like your own company, then you're the victim of whoever passes by. This is where any social collective, government
or otherwise, that plies its confusions into the personal responsibilities marriage and family present is aiming for controls
over population densities, economic prevalence, and the powers of manipulative order. “Only the strong survive.”
“It’s a dog eat dog world.” “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.”
A person, man or woman, can work a hard won
fight for a strong sense of self and win the battle. But, the battle is lost when it is realized that not only are they not
who God intends them to be, they have left a collection of destruction in the wake of their progress to self actualization.
Multiply one man and one woman by the hundreds of millions of men and women in the United States of America alone and it is
not difficult to see why the continent has the most incarcerated people, per capita, of any country in the world.
Usually disregarded when thoughts about prison
populations arise are all the digressive loads involved with and in each of the families of each of the people in prison,
the overall tax burden to keep the millions of jailed men and women fed and housed, combined with support from public coffers
for those families in consequential economic hardship is beyond imagination. A country’s citizens' satisfaction with
life tells of the people who inhabit that country. But, the great paradox, the discrepancy between perspectives about the
strengths and weaknesses of the United States of America cannot be found in weaknesses in the Constitution, or for that matter
The apparent weaknesses the US is thought to
possess is in the minds and hearts of envious, jealous, and faithless people around the world who do not know a good thing
when they see it. This is why it is wrongly thought that changes in the principles on which the country is founded are viable
for a new era of difference our forefathers had no way of realizing. With God there is never, and never has been, any scarcity
of love. The problem is, human beings have a curious way of not understanding what love is and what the expression of love,
as different from physical gratification, means. Since it is recorded in Scriptures and elsewhere that God Himself is love,
there has arisen through the eons of history the misappropriation of what people determine is love.
Because God is love there is a natural way
that love works, and there is an unnatural way that love does not work. The reason it seems as if there are other forms of
love that do not comply with traditionally held standards for society to adhere is the patience and endurance God extends
through Christ to give the freedoms of will for anyone to turn their trust in faith to His ways in guiding his or her ways.
The pervading psychologically driven assumptions spurred on by the drug induced haze of free-wheeling free will, in tandem
with matter-of-fact mortal reasoning, has a ‘make love not war’ appreciation for the sanctity of life.
But, it is those same people who use situational
ethics to explain away the taking of life through abortion. They do so because they fail to understand the wisdom of God’s
freedoms through the responsibilities of His love as different from the uncommitted ‘love’ secularism views love
to be. They advertize an irresponsible ‘freedom’ in defining a making of love as intimate sexual involvement where
self appreciation is dependent upon using others as commodities and appliances. “I like this and I don’t like
that” becomes “I love this and I hate that” where pleasurable sensations are identified with love’s
dependability. As many people recognize that it is naturally possible to enjoy working and at the same time to not love the
job the work entails, either because of or without regard to a paycheck, it can also be understood that the many undesired
chores of living are desirable in their doing because of their beneficial results.
False ideals such as finding love with coworkers,
with friends and neighbors, in dance classes; virtually wherever anyone is consensually willing for an encounter provides
a false love found in what the world offers; in essence it is a loving of one’s own vitality – the loving of the
blessings of God without loving Him in the ways He asks to be loved. It is a love that is no love at all but an infatuation
with wanting to be wanted. Without question, there can be passionate embracing between a man and a woman, between people of
all persuasions where the emotions are open and a person can be whoever they wish to be… including the secret intriguing
thrills of getting away with hidden and stolen pleasures… rolls can be played: your 7-year-old self, your 30-year-old
self, your 60-year-old self, your male self, your female self, etc. And anyone who is party to the sham can say, “I
understand your game, and here I am to play.”
Sometimes one might act a spoiled brat, and
sometimes straight-up, and sometimes quirky or aloof. But a relationship outside marriage between a man and woman is necessarily
an ‘emotional peership’ between partners who are already working toward becoming what they erringly believe are
fuller and fuller individuals. And fuller and fuller they are… of the worlds false wisdom of feelings without responsibility
that actually tout irresponsibility as the responsibility of free will to choose. Getting happier is the goal. The goals of
finding more happiness are in the giving up of high expectations and careful standards, or rather, corrupting the natural
sensitivities honor and integrity bring through refusing to degrade common sense concerning the natural use and respect for
the how, or why, the body functions.
For self-serving thrill seekers getting happier
means to either reduce expectations or increase possessions and the experiences those possessions can bring. Those who believe
in the concepts of personal happiness as the goals of living, but have heartfelt convictions about their orientation to cultural
lack of committed restraints believe in strong emotionally based religious and family traditions where poverty is thought
to be a ‘blessing in disguise’ where the strengths of patient anger over inadequacy serve to help them cope with
appreciating what they have, while at the same time they are thankful when they advance steadily economically.
That way the inconsistent ideal that God gave
them life for the purposes of their happiness, at His expense, remains an egotistical pride that subtly contradicts their
faith. It is not a true love as it is given from God naturally through commitment and loyalty - though loyalty to a cause
may spur emotional attachments and enthusiasm; it is experiential enjoyment as opposed to disenchantment with pitfalls and
falls under the meanings of infatuation rather than love. ‘Chemistry’ compatibility, whether of social order,
governmental service, community tranquility, married unity, family respect, or business ethics, always and at all times involves
each person’s faith in Christ, or lack of the same. Unions of time and decision in any application of personal will
require both heart and mind.
Balancing the multitasking responsible rolls
each and every person attends their attentions to is difficult at the least and a monster of monsters at the most when emotionally
imaginative patterns of self-assuredness are founded in what makes one feel good in opposition to anything and everything
that is disruptive to the desired order of their disorder. This is why it is necessary to be wary of unexamined attractions.
But, examining one’s attractions has no beneficially fruitful results without faith and trust in God through His Word.
Here, it is not meant the Holy Bible as many think if it as “The Inherent and Infallible Word of God” –
the true Word of God is the Man of redemption and justification for all, Jesus Christ.
This is easier to understand when it is considered
that faith in Christ’s alive and well Holy Spirit of Truth is not found in the various meanings of different translations
of Scripture. The Truth of God through Christ is the very dynamic power that keeps the universe in existence. We, as people
living a part of that on-going existence (each and every one of us) have a naturally designed purpose that God’s will
seeks to guide according to trust in Him through each their own naturally born fleshly design. Often what we call chemistry
is a mix of familiarity and anxiety, the instinctual emotional compensations resident in unfulfilled faith in Christ, and
it provides excuses for not having to trust God’s guidance through the hand of those to whom one is committed whether
or not those others are actively faithful in their walk for His sake.
Everything in and of the world’s estrangement
from God through faith in Christ is bound to balancing personal integration with, and resistance to, experiences. When the
sensations of experience take on the attributes of love’s promise through attempts at self validation, those sensations
are on a course of divergence away from the naturally created reasons those experiences are available to receive. It is not
what you do, it is why you do what you do… and with whom. Putting that into perspective, the Bible says that everything
exists in, of, and by the Word of God. So, it should be readily apparent that anything anyone does is subject to His Word,
Jesus Christ (John 1:1-14). That means the intimate love, as different from physical pleasures, available to everybody is
properly manifested through God’s will of promise in and through marriage and the vows that enable God’s righteousness
to flow through the agreement.
Feelings are great, but feelings are not the
reasons people have brains and a heart to respond to what is right in and through their promises no matter how they feel about
it. People always have the opportunity to decide what to do with their feelings, and people can decide to distinguish between
their feelings and their emotions, their thoughts and their decisions about those thoughts; all with regard to their own authority
with anyone else who shares the proper understood levels and orders of God designed authorities based in following through
with those committed promises. When there are conflicts with opinion, and/or circumstances, God’s declared will in Christ’s
mercy of grace always prevails in the established familial structures of marriage first, immediate family next, and so on.
It is thought that adults meet their own needs.
If anyone were created to be an independent island, then of course there would be a created purpose in their isolation. But,
people are created to be socially ordered where a man with a woman in marriage depend on their God given, and shared, measure
of faith to rely in His moment by moment naturally supplied blessings. The only way the fullness of His power of creative
responsibility flows in and through the lives and hearts of those who put their trust in Him is with respect to those involved
honestly realizing their place unto each other exclusively for the purposes of benefit to God by benefitting each other with
their honest exchanges.
In an inverted and backward way, where an intimate
clandestine liaison (cheating – sexual or not) takes place, shared personal confidences take on the false securities
of willful justification a person has in his or her exclusive rights to express concerns with their spouse. Stolen trustworthiness
stimulates barriers aligned with the pride of personal accomplishment over the natural complexities of faithful living. When
trusts of marriage are compromised by secrecy, when a man or woman steps outside the bounds of their promised ‘to have
and to hold’ commitments of matrimonial privacy, the binding results of guilt and shame immediately take hold to orient
one’s attentions toward the ‘other’ party.
Forgotten through the fears of discovery is
that whatever a married man or woman does, and/or whoever he or she confides their sensibilities with, are matters that also
remain their mate's full responsibility. When a married man and woman are understandingly living in a usually expected open
trust through candid honesty, their gain is a natural protective privacy no other human individual or group is able to drive
a wedge into. In that is the protection for any children they may have responsibility to maintain including the necessary
strengths of unity a child needs for a stable example of God in Christ’s witness for the children’s rearing into
the trusts of accountability their ordinary lives require.
With regard to romance and the choosing of
a mate it is thought by many experts in relationship counseling circles that the ways of fantasy romance (the display of hopes,
dreams, desires, ultimate expectations, sharing grandiose plans), rather than completing people’s lives, undoes their
happiness and well being. One of the reasons this idea seems to be gaining momentum is the varied cultural clashes unfettered
social standards cause. The sound stable family structure is under attack from all sides. It is extremely more difficult to
retain and maintain proper God respecting rolls within and without the family home in America than it ever has been throughout
the history of the country.
But, those who formed the basis for the United
States were not lacking in wisdom from God or understanding about His ways of purpose for any people in present or future
times that may endeavor to build a land’s administration for the sake of His natural designs. Many people search for
ways to separate romantic passion from the misconceptions that often surround it and find their efforts lacking without knowing
why. So, conclusions are drawn to resort to self assurance that uses others as it is felt one has been used in an attempt
to spitefully ‘balance fate with karma’. Not realized is the simple fact that “all have fallen short of
the glory of God” and “There is none righteous, no, not one.”
‘Western culture’, as it has been
called, tends to interpret Scriptures individually, selfishly, and independently without realizing that the personal convictions
of heart revealed by Scripture’s witness is God’s Holy Spirit of Truth speaking to him or her about the place
their husband, wife, or children hold in their love for who they are in their responsibilities. Usually, when a man or woman
gains a faithful spiritual insight concerning present circumstances, the resentful application of the ego self seeks to point
out irregularities, inconsistencies, and dodged duties he or she believes are their mate’s shortfalls.
And, there may be a legitimate shortfall, or
two, or three… but the purpose for a man’s or woman’s heart conviction in a matter is for that person to
realize their own duties of responsibility in Christ for either another or their self to take up the matter(s) for God’s
application of healing. This is another reason forthright open honesty, without the usual fears of reprise, is essential for
growth in faith unto salvation. This is also where the proper working of patience and tolerance is aptly applied. Usually,
the biggest hitch in working communications is concerning emotional attitudes displayed through tone and manner rather than
actual words of meaning.
The unrealized habits many people embrace through
their active intellect are false assumptions about intentions based upon various degrees of projected intensity. Thus, approaches are made into the issues of a moment compared with past moments to affect future moments
by implying, hinting, suggesting, and manipulating requests, statements of belief, and admonishments without candid direct
and forthright honesty. So, though the content of pleasant co-habitation may be readily present at all times, the manner of
temperament hinders due order to bring solutions, reconciliation, and better ways to a grinding halt.
Once a household’s basic needs have been
fulfilled, having shelter, enough food to eat, and so on, further economic development seems to stagnate when the primary
goals of relationship bliss are more happiness. While social scientists call this the "hedonic treadmill" maintaining what
already is accomplished seems to become a stasis where progress seems bound to time’s wicked penchant for inevitable
monotony. This is because the gift of living has overcome the reasons for the gift – and/or the reasons for the gift
have overcome the Giver of the gift. Not actively recognizing reasonable thankfulness for a day’s protections and living
amenities allows the doors of complacency to gradually open wide to envy, strife, jealousies, greed, anguish, etc.
Unless a person is open and honest with their
mate about their intentions, their concerns, their activities, and their troubles, the other party is left to assuming as
they wish whatever comes to mind - most usually ideals formed by imaginative emotionally charged thought loops that do not
represent the concerns their mate has. "Mind reading," is actually a useful understanding about the basic cares of another
mixed with an understanding about their personal likes and dislikes. ‘Thinking for others’ is necessary between
parents and children, especially with infants and toddlers, but not in intimate personal relationship between adults. God
designed Creation itself according to a Word of life and blessed people with the abilities to communicate their will and desires
for decision making.
When people load other people with expectations
based in their commitments, by anticipating their thoughts and desires with self-serving intentions, they are actually looking
looking for an idealized parent - usually a combination of Mommy and Daddy wrapped into one. While it is true that a husband
and wife do occasionally fulfill the rolls of Mommy and Daddy for each other, it is unwise to place our Father in heaven in
the mix in such a way as to expect a god-type all knowing automatic service to the whims of desire. A way to properly combat
taking for granted unsaid expectations is to consciously make the efforts to understand that God Himself asks us to pray to
Him for our concerns in the Name of Christ Who acquired all things good and fruitful for our well being.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek,
and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and
to him that knocks it shall be opened.” is not only the way we are prompted by God to appeal to His graces, it is also
the model for how a husband and wife is to tend to each other. When Christ led the way for His disciples with, “Follow
Me” it was an invitation to do as He did. During the time He spent with His disciples, He led them to do as He did because
He is the One and only one Who who created the ways nature functions for His good pleasure for the good purposes humankind
is floundering in its miseries by misappropriating His justification.
This is why Ephesians chapter 5:21-25 states,
Submitting yourselves one to another in reverence of Christ, Ye wives, unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, Because, a
husband is the head of his wife as the Christ also is the head of the assembly, He being the savior of the body, Nevertheless,
as the assembly submits herself unto the Christ, so also the wives unto their husbands in everything: Ye husbands, be loving
your wives even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and delivered Himself up in her behalf.
Lest the standard misconceptions about women
being inferior to men rear their ugly head because of the term ‘subjection’, rest assured that a man’s duties
in subjection to Christ for his wife’s sake are no ‘walk in the park’. The benefit a woman has “under
a man’s authority” where the only authority a man has over a woman who is not an underage child is through the
bond of marriage, is the freedom she has with her eloquently honed vocabulary to place the all of her concerns in her husband’s
responsibilities to God in Christ. The weight of those responsibilities are surely shared between a man and his wife since
they are considered integrated as one in God’s attentions but God is not lacking in knowing their differences of covering
mercy of grace in Christ’s wholeness.
Women most often look for men who might think
they are charming and who will make them feel safe. What they are actually looking for is a man who has ‘God’s
favor’ working through their sensibilities. When there is a woman who equates safety with financial prosperity, she
looks for a man who is either wealthy or has the capacity to become wealthy. That is a woman who has been failed by unlearned
parents or adverse experiences in life where God became, for some reason, a magical genie in the sky whose sole purpose in
His services to humankind rests in His ability to provide overflowing prosperity for anyone who is “right with Him”.
Financially strapped? – all the same
as being not right with God. Many false evangelistic and “the church-house is where God is” organized church ministries
have been quite adept at furthering the “Faith in God equals what money can do through His love” message that
gives credence to the suggestion in 1st Timothy 6:10, For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted
after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Women want a man with strong arms
to forego the trials of the world’s wiles and men want a woman with honest and trustworthy expedience in sharing their
concerns about their shared responsibilities in caring for a household. Both want from each other satisfaction that only can
be grasped with respect to Christ’s integrity through each their acceptance of the other as who He makes them to be.
As trends and personal ideas and ideals have
stomped their way through the hearts and minds of generations of misrepresented Christianity, people have come to look for
things different in intimate relations than they are created to see and understand. However, as everyone has in their heart
of hearts the natural understanding about their errors in living, they either are running as hard as they can to avoid facing
their responsible forthright need to recognize Who God is, because they do not have the peace of God’s understanding
in their hearts; or they are actively working out their fears about the unknowns of inter-relational responsibilities by flinging
their selves into experiences to gain emotional stimulations through physically sensational activities that masquerade as
the goodness of living.
Whether a man or woman, we all want to feel
special and dear, we want to know that we matter and our light of awareness is important - with our foibles and unfinished
personable potential bathed in the loving glow of a doting father. At the same time that we want Daddy's strong arms, we also
want a mother's sweetness and tenderness. These things can only be properly actualized
by and through a direct and conscious choice to be for those we love as we believe God wishes us to be. There are of course,
in putting God first through faith in His promises, times when we cannot bend to manipulations meant to pit us against our
better judgment where giving in to exploitation would lose the purposes we made our commitments.
Sometimes we need to remain committed to our
commitments, even if it seems we are in opposition to peace and prosperity and/or when it appears we are in opposition to
our spouse, in order to be that steadfast witness of stick-to-itiveness that putting God first for the sake of our married
dependability we promised our wife or husband when we made our wedding vows. But, in the overall, when situations or circumstances
make it seem a romance is going or has gone south, there are the natural feelings that resemble the times when childhood’s
fears brought the terrors of abandonment and loss. The temptation, then, is to look to something readily at hand, anything
easily acquired that will ease the pains of discouragement.
Then, as emotionally spun doubtful thoughts
take hold of a person’s will to decide, his or her natural instinctual fears push self-defensive rights to fight in
the Name of God into confrontational errors. Though the other party of a marriage is also experiencing the same realities,
but in a necessarily different way, misunderstandings eventually lead properly committed sensibilities on into insensibility
and eventually drive a person into withdrawal simply due to exhaustion and seclusion. Standoffish rebellion then takes hold
to bind the very communications needed for resolution and reconciliation… into silence.
As fatalism is the anti-faith determination
to take matters into one’s own hands, subjective well being as opposed to optimistic potential leads one’s attentions
toward distrust of interpersonal reliability and, therefore, distrust in God Himself and the reality of life in Christ. Psychologically
applied coping mechanisms take the place of vulnerable trust through faith in the invulnerability of God’s wisdom and
His wisdom takes on an “Everything has a reason.” numb-minded-ness that explains everything adverse to happiness
away as ‘the troubles of life’. Lost in the balance are those who care deeply about making headway against adversity,
overcoming the obstacles that seem to be so powerfully against right things in right ways.
We naturally fall in love with and marry
someone who resembles that man or woman who represents a stable father or a caring mother. They bring us out into the world
of personally decided maturity. And if we are secure in our faith, we grow up to want something more interesting than parent-child
love – something different and more personally fulfilling and real. We want an adult partnership. But, the precondition
for that is a good relationship with ourselves where we know to understand that being served comes through serving. When we
retain the childlike narcissistic leaning belief that the world revolves around our own desires, we lose sight of the empathy
others desire to share by thinking empathy is designed to get for us our own satisfying results.
This is where realizing that our duties to
God supersede His duties to us - that we already are living an aware existence by His creative hand – that our appreciation
of His ways through honoring, no matter what, the loyalties a household requires to function finds the realistic satisfactions
in doing whatever we do for His sake. The advantage in faithfully defending the structure of marriage and the promises it
promises to uphold, instead of defending one’s self against thought-to-be incompatibilities and affronts to self-worth
are the definitions of happiness, integrity, peace of mind, viability, respect, and decency take on in the here-to-fore unrealized
sense of validation in being loved and loving.
The invitation God presents to us in the Gospel
of salvation through faith in Christ is an invitation to us to share in His creativity. It is a reality in Him that far surpasses
any earthly training and advancement we might use to become who we dream we might become. In addition to that, the abilities
to function well to accomplish the earthly interests we desire to learn are better accommodated when our attentions are rightly
mature in accepting our personally validating positions in marriage and family. While it is obvious that other members of
our personal lives are in various stages of acceptance and faith-active awareness - many times in vigorous opposition to our
caring concerns in Christ - we are surely in God’s eternal will to carry through our determinations for His sake.
Through faith in His leading, we create abundant
lives for ourselves with open and honest cooperation from others. Many churches are spreading false rumors about Christ’s
merciful loving-kindness by intensifying emotional surrealism through idolizing hardship, suffering, and pain as points of
contact for the application of power viability. It is erringly said that faith enters through a wound – that wisdom
comes through our wounds, further saying that our wounds need to turn into our blessings. But, Jesus said, “Blessed
are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” Our wounds are not the stepping stones of glory. Rather, our pain
and suffering is not for us to own.
The relational problem with believing in the
developmental benefits of self-validating pleasure through pain is the fact that social convention is embracing false ideals
based in learning from our mistakes in ways where intentional mistakes may be engaged in order to work the frustrating pains
of inconsistency to reach higher heights of experiential wisdom. Thus, it is necessary to ferret out the incompatible differences
others have intimately with us in order to eliminate them from our presence – all the while accepting the wrongs of
rejection as a blessing in disguise along the pathway of our journey of self-realization. Trouble with that is, the greater
the collection of pleasure-through-pain discoveries we make, the further we are from who God wants us to be.
His ways, as different from man’s ways,
(Isaiah 55:1-8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the LORD.) are not about people’s
pop-psyche affirmations that tend to stringing anyone who will listen along. They say, "Happiness is the gap between what
you have and what you expect to have in life. If that gap is very small then you are happy, and if it is quite wide then naturally
you are quite unhappy." The error found in that concept is based in the squandering of respected loyalties and devotions into
a calloused disregard for the sensibilities and concerns of those who genuinely do care for our welfare.
Frankly, satan sees Christ’s servants
burdened because of the spiritual darkness that enshrouds the population as a whole. He hears their earnest prayers for divine
grace and power to break the spell of indifference, carelessness, and indolence. Then with renewed zeal her plies his arts.
He tempts men and women to the indulgences of appetite or to some other form of self-gratification – many times through
indignant frustrations against others. Thus, sensibilities are benumbed so that they fail to hear the very things which they
most need to embrace.
The smorgasbord of the world’s various
offerings advertises that nobody should limit one’s self to a single partner that, just as each and every person has
different attributes, we may involve ourselves with their personal personification as if each person is sorely lacking in
the fullness of God’s creation. Disbanded and disoriented faith is the reason it seems that a collective of relationships
has a higher value for our self-development – quite the opposite from the unity of distinctive identity God supplies
to those who conform to the commitments of marriage for His glory and the on-going well being of our dedications with a mate.