When I said, "I love you! I didn't realize I really do love you

23 Myths about Love or “wandering wonder approach”

   Faith, or belief, in the definition of love as emotional fulfillment that validates and defines who one is, will spur dreams of fantasy concerning deserved rights of existence based in self realization. This self realization is a hoping wishful substitute for reality that forms a “lessons of the journey” process where personal development requires an ongoing trial and error establishment of structured reasoning through experiences. Most often, this reasoning takes the deceptive form of believing emotional heights of instinctual passion are emanations of the Truth of God’s creative Spirit.

   Finding what works to please oneself, and what does not work in ways that are not pleasing, is working the symptoms of living as if the results of better results are the purpose for the efforts. As dreams are dashed on the rocks of tragedy (because reality is not able to represent a dream) there arises an attitude that reality is the enemy to realizing the ultimate dream. This is where heaven and God are misunderstood as the final and full earthly unreachable expression of who we believe we were created to be through our self perpetuated emotional desires to have things our own particular special way.

   It is thought, emotionally, that there are different kinds of love just as there are many types and mixes of emotions: agape love, paternal love, maternal love, love/hate… but all love that is actual true love itself is from and of God Himself. Many people believe that since they believe love is emotion, and the Bible states that God is love, then God himself must be the embodiment of emotional expression in its purest and most powerful form. And, everyone knows seemingly enjoyable things and experiences that swell the emotions, and drive fantastic thoughts, can be quite destructive to the self and others – most usually held to the worth of monetary satisfaction.

   This is one of the deceptions brought about by the adversary against Creation who works to turn round into mockery and contempt what God creates for His Truth of Righteousness in bringing to everyone the lives and living He designed. His creation, of which we all are a part, works in certain ways that cannot deviate from His functional plan. God’s choice of thought always aligns with absolute truth in ways where any untruth is opposed to the power of His stated Word. People, in their attempts to verify what they do, quantify Christ’s attentive life giving wholeness by the level, or amount, of godliness anyone may have.

   So, they gravitate to those who are assumed ‘have more of goodness’. But, there are ways things work and there are ways things cannot work. When ways that cannot work are used to cause things to work, it is a drawing away from what is created to work into what cannot work with creation. Since creation itself exists in, of, and by the Truth of God’s spoken Word, any false word of expression to create outside His creative Word will fall short of reality. Because people are deceived into believing reality is subject to the whims of personal fancy, there “exists” an eroding dismemberment of God’s unity of purpose for His peoples as a people of His making.

   Pride in achievement, exemplified in the abilities to maintain a sufficient flow of money, is the most common deceptive form of substitute faith. Faith is God’s exemplary example of love where the measure of surety any of us has is the particular personal measure of faith each of us was given as Jesus Christ gave His trust in our Father Creator (Himself by and in His own Word of prophecy). He faced His crucifixion knowing in full confidence that His Resurrection into life for all would be for the asking. God was not required to give to us the gift of life and its awareness of living; He did it because He wanted to.

   However, God’s love, as well as our own, is not manifested, formed, defined, or created by and through proof in the course of pain, hardship, separation, suffering, and sacrifice. This is where hatred is erringly thought of as the opposite of loving. If people had appreciatively acknowledged their appropriate acceptance of God’s will by holding to His purity of Word, instead of spinning out into the self debasing pride of personally exercised alternative choices, His love would have not endured, and people would not be enduring, the scattered and fragmented torment that striving to love and be loved involves.

   Much of the world is steeped in the ideals, patterns, and emotionally intellectual traditions of the wiles of cultural integration ahead of the Creator. It is not that instinctual and personal reactions to amorous attractions are wrong. It is the reasons for the quest for validating one’s own senses of prominence that makes all the difference. It can be faithfully understood persons are good to be appreciated for who they are as a person working out their place in God’s Kingdom.

   Then, physical and self-focused interactions, relational companionship, find its rightful place(s) in complementary subjection to the authorities each person has in Christ. Realized in the now of living, rather than drawn from imaginary past memories or speculative hopeful regard for the future, is an ongoing awareness unto others and ourselves. This is according to promises of respect for commitment - with regard to honest understanding through the risks of interdependence marriage brings about - in agreed redemptive forgiveness for errors and mistakes that may have adversely affected our living ways before.

Myth #1 - “God puts a certain person in our lives for a reason, and whatever reason that God had in mind for putting you into mine… I don’t mind… I’m just thankful He did.”

   God does not put people in our lives “for a reason”; at least not in the Old Testament way of prophetic dispensation. Everyone is born with God’s reasons in their heart of hearts for each their own will to appreciate His will in giving the light of life. While each person has a natural grace of living consciousness that may lead to decisions in allowing God to be Who He is in their lives, God promised humankind the right to choose his and/or her own will in whom, and who is not, in their life.

   The common appeal to cast sensible consideration to “everything happens for a reason” implies (but does not mean) that if a situation exists, it is or was supposed to exist. Things can occur for wrong reasons as well as right reasons. Because things occur for wrong reasons (because people are choosing not to be obedient to the goodly Authority of God) it stands the test of muster that everything happens because people are influenced in one way or another through their will, to do what they do – or be where they are.

   Luke 11:9-10 says, “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened.” So, God through the power of His Son’s Word of promise, the Holy Spirit, responds to our requests with His unworldly wisdom. Though we may be surprisingly delighted with the person God sends to us, He does not cause a surprising happenstance we were not expecting in faith.

   Also, because He has promised to not interfere with a person’s will, His sending of someone to us might be thwarted by that person or others who withhold or delay in some way their place with us. We must always be cautious about personal entanglement to trust in faith that God will see the moments through. Satan listens to our prayers and ‘loves’ to give to us answers that seem to be what we are seeking. If not the wrong, one as if he or she is the right one, then our own perception may be clouded to see wrong as if it is right or right as if it is wrong.

   The magical mysteries of mystical ironic chances and astounding coincidence are solely in the realm of demoniacs to bring wrong meanings of diversion when God works His hand to arrange timing and events. However, since the devil is not the victor over peoples' lives (even though it seems he is in much of the world), any chance meeting that may have been devised by the deceiver also is a chance, together, to spit in the eye of that dastardly dumbbell to make a Godly union in spite of his fruitless ploys.

Myth #2 – “Being loved is the second best thing in the world; loving someone is the best.”

   Being loved and loving someone is sharing the oneness of togetherness God promises in His Word that His love entails. Any love shared between a man and woman is the one love of God that makes the two the unity of one in their respect for each other unto Him. Loving considers, embraces, and tends to any difficulties an intimate partner may have because expecting perfection can only be done through the honest ownership of inconsistencies, foibles, and problems. This is why intercession in prayer does not stop with personal prayer, it continues with sharing, and dealing with, all that one may be in their particular life.

   God is able where we are and where we are not. When it is genuine love in and from Him through faith to honor His creative expressions of joy unspeakable, there can be no categorizing of what love by who is best or second best. Gratitude and appreciation in prayerful thankfulness to God for our joys as well as our shortcomings allow us to realize that each of us is not an island of self determination. Being personally cared for gives to us the pleasures to know we are special in a special way that is especially and uniquely us.

   When fears set in that perfection in unity requires the work of tending to retaining or re-attaining the experiential acknowledgement of God’s presence with our mate (day-to-day natural struggles of living), we sometimes forget that we must not use God to bring to us our happiness in ways where we automatically think of Him as our servant/provider to levels of pleasurable maintenance. He wants us to honor Him rather than take Him for granted to feed our emotionally prideful desires in expecting Him to honor us because of His Word.

Myth #3 - “If a relationship is truly meant to be for you, your love will find a way to make it happen and God will be there to make sure it will stay.”

   “Meant to be…” is a statement of faith in the doubt of irresponsibility that places obedience to authority in the hands of a patterned self perpetuating pride in existence arranged by the cosmos. “Cosmic force” is an imaginary concept that attempts to emulate God but removes the essence of His personal Word of faith. Only God’s love can make anything secure and assuring happen. Our own expressions of His love through our hands are distorted by experiences, disoriented by our surroundings, disillusioned by our circumstances… and, mostly embittered by adverse demonic pressures bent on ruining the works we endeavor to do.

   Belief in “relationship” as a practical separate way in experiencing personal togetherness aside from marriage is not in God’s will in Jesus Christ to honor His natural ways of private intimate interrelations. God’s patterns of plans by which He created all ways of being that uphold the fabric and matrix of the world’s teeming life has, for people, commitment by a word of promise (marriage vows) to trust Him in, and through His faith, the moments of togetherness we are commissioned to share when we choose to be one with another.

   God is God and His Word tells us we may exercise our free will as His gift to us to choose our way in life. Because each person has the opportunity to live unto Him in Christ, there is not one person better than another. Paradoxically, there is a certain person God is mindful to see us with as a mate while anyone we choose that is not that person “takes their place” and puts ‘that one’ into the position of finding someone, unto God, who will be that one instead of “that one”.

Myth #4 - “If you can’t love me at my worst, you don’t need me at my best…“

   A self-protective guilt-laden scheming ultimatum such as this is an immature attempt to say the opposite: “If I cannot love you at your worst, I don’t need you at your best.” It reflects a loss in perspective due to frustration, emotional wallowing in disappointment, and distrusts that God is alive and well and in control in the face of a moment’s drama and import. This sort of sidestepping one’s own need for God’s forgiveness combined with responsibility for another unto Him is a way to evade, elude, or escape what is overwhelming.

   Many times conditions that seem to be upsetting or hindering are not in any way . Many times they are when they seem not to be. The way to know the difference is to realize what we personally expect to accomplish or get and if another actually is aware of our expectations. Living, at all times, is a life and death matter where our human flesh instinct responds to a ‘fight or flight’ reaction to what is perceived as beneficial or destructive to what we believe will secure our peace and prosperity. As our flesh person accepts that our creature is who we are, we believe our thoughts and emotions are the personification of our needs.

   At the same time we pass off the passing of time with future expectations based in opposition to past pains and troubles in ways that reinforce our looking for pains and troubles we can analyze to meet our way to avoid pitfalls. In this way, our thinking and emotional intensity drives our actions and decisions to screen others into a relational control where we defend our existence at the cost of trusting that there is more to life and living than our capsulated categorical requirements will allow.

   This is why who we are unto others by and through who we are in God’s created will in Christ is different from who we have been taught to believe we are of and unto the world. So, it naturally follows that our humanistic thoughts, and our humanistic emotions that respond to our thoughts, and the further thoughts that respond to our emotional reactions to the first thoughts; are contrary to our health and well being in choosing whom we will do what we do with, and why we do what we do with whom.

Myth #5 - “Don’t be scared that you won’t find anyone else who will love you, because you will… when the time is right.”

   A day gone by is a day gone by. To string days together, as if time has a flowing purpose of intent to teach the lessons of patience through the pains of hardship, is a dishonest diversion from the responsibilities patience has to hope and pray that another (one known or unknown) and/or one’s self  may find their senses to respond to their place with loving their loved one. Astrology and the horoscope depend on swindling sorrowful lonely hearts to excitedly wish for a “Thank my lucky stars” appeasement to salve an aching emotional “Why me!”

   “Why me!” is because there are evil forces emanating from those dark ones who despise the love of God to be the love of humanity in all God created humanity to be. As love is thought to be the opposite of hate, though it cannot be because God has no opposite, fear is thought to be soothed by finding the yet to be found or lost love one is pining to be blessed with receiving. When it is understood that God’s blessings in companionship are not to alleviate the fears of not being cared for, it is also understood that we are created to appreciate our lives in sharing by helping our loved one overcome what seems to be binding them against themselves and others.

   As people have a limited time to live, there are stages from childhood into adulthood where the yearning to be an adult is a natural, goal oriented expectation, to look forward to doing well for the self and society. The time for meeting one who will be an intimate partner of togetherness, where we share the open trust we hold in reserve for “that one”, finds its fruition with adulthood when we are free to marry. After that, the time is always right to choose to be one with another.

Myth #6 - “Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.”

   Nobody should love anybody with all they have unless they are married. And, in marriage, the loving of one’s spouse with all one has is a love that loves God in Jesus Christ through their partner as Jesus loves us unto His Father. (Ephesians chapter 5) Love is not a way that serves another’s whims of particular selfish desires. Love is a complete acceptance of the person, no matter what, where there is ultimate concern to openly work conflicts through to their resolution.

   This can be done, and it is God’s will of desire for it to be done, by realizing what the vows of marriage say and mean. If it were not possible, then God would not be God and nobody would have any reason to care. Since love is an acceptance of God’s will over personal self-protection (only with one’s spouse), because each a couple’s body belongs to the other, unified shared concerns find their constructive joys of togetherness in appreciation, growth, and maturity.

   When the reasons for mood, temperament, and caring volatility are understood for their adamant defense of one’s spouse, any adverse situation can be seen to address issues of great concern. To put stock in what is thought of as negative attitude, as the reasons for any subsequent decisions about a matter, diverts an issue away from the issue that causes the great concern.

   When there are habitual self-defensive patterns based in emotional manipulation brought from one or the other’s upbringing where attitude control was the solution to peace at any cost, there comes the dire need to allow God to be Who He promises He will be to bring forth the honesty needed to take the wind from the sales of distress. The purpose is not to form behavior into compliance (because appropriate behavior will naturally result) the purpose is to resolve hidden difficulties to where trust is kept established.

Myth #7 - “I love you, not because you are perfect, but because you are so perfect for me. “

   Who each of us naturally are is  much better than any-who we are trying to make ourselves out to be. Usually a popularly physically attractive man or woman will automatically generate several crushes of admiration that fashion emotional desires to possess that handsome beauty. We are drawn to things and people who are pleasing to the senses. An old address to this is, “Beauty is only skin deep.” It is true that a generally attractive, or unusually attractive, person is as much a child of God as anyone else, and choosing one or another who is a visual delight to be with can be an ongoing pleasant joy.

   Because the world takes value in the visual qualities of materialism, especially in this technology age where we can form and have beauty at will from the forming work of our hands, there are untoward senses of unwarranted value placed in appearances. Given this, the “personal psychological baggage” a handsome man or a beautiful woman carries has been formed by users using the use of objectivity. In like manner, a physically unattractive or just plain ugly man or woman carries their own “personal psychological baggage” that has also been formed by the same people for the same reasons.

   These same people are the same people who are the physically attractive and unattractive people. These people are you and me because everyone buys into, to some degree, personal valuations of self and others based in their general and specific appearances. Noticing what pleases the eye in appreciation, and responding to our desires to have and to hold what pleases us is not wrong as long as we take into account that our personal flesh creature person’s desires may not override the unworldly spiritual desires of our soul person.

   This same respect for the order of priorities, of any person’s soul person to guide their flesh person, must be respected and applied concerning everyone else. Who anyone is in Christ has everything to do with how to properly manage our thoughts and emotions about who we and everyone else is in their respective place(s) unto us according to God’s promises combined with the promises we make to each other. Rest assured everybody’s appearances in the hereafter will be quite different from our flesh bodies whether or not we are running against the grain of God’s righteous judgment.

Myth #8 - “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be… It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.”

   God is everything He says He is. People are mostly not what they say they are through their own saying to be what they desire. In Christ, people are who He says they are while nobody is fully who they are in Him, being in the temporal flesh. Because God is love, our worldly wisdom of understanding the meanings of love fall short to our own demise of God’s perfection in His Being-ness of Personified Love for us through Jesus Christ. Popular belief in what love is is not what love is. God is worth fighting for. People are worth fighting for. Marriage unity and defense of God through fighting for a man and/or woman of marriage is worth fighting for. Love is the power behind that fighting.

Myth #9 - “You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.”

  Searching for happiness and to be happy is not the goal of life and living as the racketeers of economic commerce want us to believe. Happiness comes as a by-product through respecting our responsibilities under appreciated authorities. When happiness is our reasons for being with one, or another instead, we are losing who anyone may be to us and for us as we are losing who we may be to them and for them. “Oh, how precious is the “journey” of personal discovery over lasting commitment…”

   Pain is not a requirement to better well being. Painful lessons learned in life do teach us to be wary, cautions, and self protective to where we understand to be the same for others – but, not necessarily so. Destruction, hardship, pain and suffering are all things that our time of living can do without. Those things are also the same denials of God’s loving-kindnesses that Jesus Christ paid the price for on the Cross in our behalf so that in faith in Who He is we may avoid the troubles worldly wisdom deems necessary to teach the lessons of maturity and social acceptance.

Myth #10 - “When I saw you I fell in love. And you smiled because you knew. True love is not something that comes everyday, follow your heart, it knows the right answer.”

   God is always on our side because He is always on His side. We are not always on God’s side. But, in Him, we are always on our side together even though we are not able to be Holy wholly as He is being God.  He does not hold against us what we hold against ourselves and others. We hold against Him our grudges to begrudge our grudges. Within this emotional quagmire to have things “our way” as if it is God’s way, we fall in the concepts of what we believe love can do for us and in the process overlook the reality of why our love interest is interesting to us.

   So, we expect our attractive partner to measure up to ambiguous standards we cannot fathom to genuinely explain because our confused thinking depends in a false faith in yearning to realize what we do not emotionally have. Spiritualism, the excitable responses to stimuli that disguises itself as our heart of emotions, retains its mis-defined meanings when love is thought to be the building of fond collections of memories.

   Memories, and our having given ourselves to the situations that formed them, reinforce our ownership over the pride of living through invasive stimulating sensations brought to us by and through interactions with people who give to us personal attention. Our fond memories of pleasant experiences (or experiences we wish we had had) lead us to believe that the essence of love is its draw to lift us up into who we are loving to be loved or being loved to be loving.

Myth #11 - “In a relationship, there’s always someone who loves more than the other.”

   The fallacy of quantifying an amount of love as in, “How much do you love me?” denies that love is that it is just as God is that He is. There may be one person giving more personal non-self focused attention to another than the other is giving forth, but that has nothing to do with loving more or loving less. Loving is not how much one or another does or does not show or do; while an outpouring of love’s symptoms may put out an eagerness to give selfless attention to another.

   Being thankful to God for another is good. Being thankful another is pleasing is good also. But, being thankful that another is pleasing, is to be thankful to God that He is ever-present, at all times, no matter where anyone is; to be always ‘there’ to lead and guide our expectant joys in reality. To thank God for the existent presence of another, as if we are personally and specially considered over others who are somehow less significant in God’s schemes of the universe, is where faith in action unto salvation gets lost to the doubts of loss if circumstances become less personally pleasing.

Myth #12 - “Don’t find love. Let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself to fall — you just do.”

   People cannot actually find love. People in their right places in the Body of Christ are love as He is Love through faith in action unto Him for Who He is in us for His glory. God’s particular plan for anyone seeking personal satisfying love from another human being resides in His respect for us in His hand of creation. As we are created in His image, in, of, and by the Word of commitment to Truth, our duty is to cleave to His Truth of Spirit in our relying in His promises that become our promises of marriage that are promises in faith unto Him.

   Nothing of reality just “happens” as if there is a blind following of supreme haphazard fate that leads us from one life’s scenario to another. We shouldn’t expect things to happen because they are supposed to happen. Respectfully asking of our loved one our desires is an honor, just as sharing our personal concerns over the negatives we wish to hide is also a respectful honor. God requires of us to ask of Him, and continue asking of Him, so that we do not take Him for granted; and so that we always know He respects us in our right to exercise His gift of our personal will.

   In like manner, since we are created in His likeness, (His likeness being based in the word and following through with respect for that word) it is a blessing to follow Him by doing as He does in respecting our mate with the trust to not be taken for granted. The three ways we can be assured to not be taken for granted are: One - Avoid keeping any secrets by saying what we mean and meaning what we say. Two – Always ask. Three – Do not pressure load opinion against God’s leading between and betwixt you and your mate by consulting with others outside your mate’s awareness.

Myth #13 - “It’s not that I can’t live without you, it’s that I don’t even want to try. Don’t settle for the one you can live with… wait for the one you can’t live without.”

  No matter who it is with whom we may become involved there is an ever-present paradox that gives to each of us the integrity to always be in decision to stay the course of honor and decency regarding steadfast loyalty to the vows of married promise. It is God Who backs our promises with His promises no matter our own ability and/or desire to tow His line of determined absolute victory. This is where the adversary of God, the adversary of His desires for our happiness and well being in Him, works most proficiently to undermine our faith with contrary belief systems commonly called ‘religion’.

   In our topsy-turvy mixed up world it is extremely difficult to know who is someone we can live with and who is not - based on the assumption any one person is “this way” or “that way”. Since everyone is not who they are unless they are becoming who they are by following their constantly changing growth of understanding of what the Gospel witness means to them, nobody is anyone one can live with. And, at the same time, anyone is somebody one can live with. Everything depends in actions to share a common faith that is centered in the wedding vows.

   Furthermore, as the transformation from independent single persons is brought to the independence (aside from others not of the marriage) of shared togetherness in decision making, we must change.

Myth #14 - “The heart wants what it wants…. There’s no logic to those things. You know you truly love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you’re not a part of it.”

   The heart of a man and a woman is separate as “me” thinks of itself as inherently deserving self established customs. Individualistic wants thrown off to an autonomous absolute right to have and be causes deliberate binding to one’s actual reasons to be all one may be in spirit and in truth. We know we truly love someone when we understand what that loves means through God’s clear leading by and in His active voice in each of our inner heart for Christ.

   When we are concerned with a loved one’s happiness we understand that our own happiness with their happiness is a shared honest understanding that what makes God happy is for us to work together through the troubles of a day. He is not happy when dishonesty disrespects our duties to be openly trusting in Him by humbly allowing our love interest to know all there is to share we may have. Proper decision making can only find its execution to bring desired welfare for a couple when there are no hidden motives and alternative ways and plans.

Myth #15 - “Lovers do not meet somewhere along the way. They’re in each other’s hearts from the beginning. To love is to have someone special, one who you can always depend to be there through the years sharing laughter and tears as a partner, a lover, a friend.”

   To believe that a lover, (a marriage partner) is present in one’s heart from the beginning serves to strip that ‘loved’ person entirely of who they are as a blessing from God’s respect for a man and woman who appreciate their common interests as well as their differences. Aside from that, all souls were created at once - in the beginning. Faith in trust applied from the core of one’s heart is not to ignore a mate’s responsibilities to be forthright. As God does require our acknowledgement of Who Jesus Christ is for our acceptance of His eternal life of truth in living, it naturally follows this same following of Christ works with appreciating who our loved one is in Him.

   Everyone is special is special ways where only each person’s unique existence finds his or her place faithfully in the Body of Christ. We do, through the presence of mind to faithfully ask God for a companion, meet whoever it may be His answer to our prayers brings. Christ came to redeem humankind from the fall of Adam and Eve out of the Beautiful Garden, where the two as one of their marriage was torn asunder by satan. God in Christ provides the dynamic life giving answers to the miseries of personal relationship that has kept this world in tragedy and war since the dawn of mortal time.

Myth #16 - “A nightmare? Hardly….. he gave me two tears of happiness, which is two more than a lot of people get. Love is, giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to.”

   Much of the New Testament was written by the Apostle Paul; a man who knows and tells us in his writings that living for God in Christ is never too much trouble to be a blessing from God. When the light of Christ’s presence crosses paths with a man and woman together for the purposes to be a witness of Him in marriage and what marriage means, it is an automatic beacon that draws the anti-christ powers of hell and its corrupt domain to attack those truly in love at the very core of their lives and love.

   Left untouched is nothing in the earthly realm in order to subvert and ruin the pathways of spiritual completion the combined souls in marriage share. Economics, expectations, circumstances, situations, jealousies, envies, carnal emulations, cheating, sneaking, lies, covers, strife, habits, backbiting, defenses, depressions, spite, wallowing, resentment, fighting and so on are the problems others will thrust upon a true upstanding couple who marry for true love.

   One may say, “Why get married then?” Because, if one or another shirks marriage to avoid the battles marriage naturally brings to defend the honor of the people involved to defend the honor of God in Christ, they are folding into the soul losing destructive ways the devil wants to begin with. The “god of this world” lost his place to have the world as he took it in and through Christ’s Resurrection. But, because people are yet to, one and all, turn their lives over to the Giver of Life for His well caring, satan steals and uses his way through the authority of the will of people in their dealings with other people.

Myth #17 - “To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give.”

   Respecting the one we love is to respect their own will, moment by moment, to choose as God respects the same. However, when we are responsible unto God for our spouse, we do have expectations for maintaining our quality of living that requires honest cooperation to know and be known. Knowing the depths of the negatives our partner has, as well as the positives we like to pretend is all of who we are, allows our commission to intercede in word, deed, prayer, and devotion for their sake for God’s sake.

   God’s blessing He has for us, (Luke 6:36-38, Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.) cannot find their avenue into our hands when we are denying the reasons He has to bestow upon us His bounty.

Myth #18 - “Love can happen anywhere at any time and almost always when we least expect it…”

   When the definition of love is thought to be “making love” it can happen, and does, all over the world all the time. And, it happens when people least expect it if they are bound to denying their naturally created steadfast commitment to marriage with one with whom they may relish in trusting, no matter what, their hearts and lives together. Longevity in sharing God’s love takes work worth the effort for not only flesh-life achievement but also for our soul(s) eternal health. It is not only for our own respect and integrity; it is, as well, for God’s desires for us to be strong and endure the trials and temptations the world throws our way.

   Sex is not love. Sex is the intimate sharing based in human reproductive pleasures to tell us that God was well pleased with His creation of us as people. He did not intend for people to fall into dishonoring His beauty of peace and well being the way they have. He does not allow the evil and suffering that is in the world, people do by allowing their chosen authority in Him to be diverted elsewhere. Enjoying the pleasures of sexual expression is not wrong nor is it against God’s purity of righteousness to be pleased with sharing, responsibly, being intimately involved with one which we enjoy sharing our time. It is not what we do that causes problems, it is why we do what we do, and being honest about it solely with our mate, that resolves any problems we may unintentionally (or intentionally) fabricate.  

Myth #19 - “Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.”

   Love, as the gift from God of His life for us is never deserved. He and He alone dispenses His Being through His Work of Word on the Cross via the Prophets’ proclamations and by witness via His chosen peoples’ ventures for the purposes of our acceptance of and for His Life in and through us via His Resurrection in Victory over all things contrary to His Goodness, His Purity, His Loving-kindnesses, His Truth of reality, and His reasons to share His Majesty and Glory with those who understand His merit is the only merit that has merit for acceptance.

   To say that love is a commodity that can be negotiated for use depending upon whether or not one or another is deserving of love denies the reasons love exists. Economized and dispensed love held or given dependent on need or reward leads to excuses to cast aside a loved one because of supposed insufficiency or lack of generosity. It serves a “cut and run” use of people as supply tools who are accused of contrariness to God’s will when precise unexplained whims of fancy are not met to perfection. Right becomes wrong and wrong becomes right when the right suffer for the wrong who feel justified in their casual clipping off in departure away from dutiful responsibility.

Myth #20 - “You never really leave a place or person you love, part of them you take with you, leaving a part of yourself behind.”

   God has the whole world in Christ’s hands. In Him there is no distance, or past, concerning anyone. There, is His just requirement that any wrongdoing existing is personally carried within a marriage by a husband for his wife who is one with him… and a wife for her husband who is one with her. That is whether either of them are acknowledging Christ’s responsibilities in their hands as a charge against His death on the Cross. It is also until He is asked for forgiveness to acquire His grace and mercy through His Resurrection.

   However, one may ask His forgiveness for a continual sinning of abandonment and remain without the fruits of grace and mercy because a matter is not yesterday where its resolution has yet to occur. False pride in believing separation and distance means no responsibility, based in the moments past being gone, is twisted logic that denies who each of us is in God’s broad and all encompassing schemes of deliverance His way and not humankind’s ways. Decisions. At attack is our will to decide with one we love who is one with us in marriage to love God in spirit and in truth.

   This is speaking of soul driven corruption, rather than flesh driven corruption, where purposeful spiritual intent makes all the difference between acts of instinctual immorality we may tolerate in patience and longsuffering; and vitally urgent, more intolerable acts of willful, knowledgeable, spiritual defiance where flesh immorality is used to purposely tear at the foundations of faithful dependence in God’s plans of redemption. However, even in this, the deceiver pushes to convince that the unpardonable sin has been repeatedly committed in order to dissuade those he keeps deceived into continuing on as if they have no choice.

   One after another, if a person were to “love ‘em and leave ’em” in a mutual rip-off, pleasuring in the great thrilling carnival ride of sensation called progressive development, the parts taken with you and the parts left behind with each eventually will spread everyone out into a collective consciousness without any identity or reasons for the experiential journey. This anti-christ collective of interpersonal ‘relationship’ imitates but does not reflect the distinctive unity of the Body of Christ. It is unity of the death He put to death in His Crucifixion that will be judged, by the Father Above as enemies of His Son of Compassion.

Myth #21 - “Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.”

   Sin is separateness from the will of God as applied in seeming confidence through our own will. Sin is always our reasons for sinning rather than the sinful acts we call sin. Most people are unaware of the reasons for their sinful acts in their reactionary blindness that centers on the emotional intensity sinful acts find through the traumas associated with having been deceived into betraying respect for authority. Nothing is ever over until God says it is over and the way He does things in His decisions is not the wisdom and understanding most people believe it is.

   Common is the belief that people either mesh well or they have irreconcilable conflicts. When a man or woman is habitually pleased with the newness of discoveries in priority to the efforts necessary to work through and solve problems and difficulties, for love’s sake based in their vows of promises together unto God, they work to increase areas of conflict in ways where the underlying goal is to start over in experiencing the newness of discoveries meeting and relating with another person involves.

   Our day to day habits cause us to apply to people what we apply to items. We buy a paper towel, use a paper towel to clean up a mess, and throw away the paper towel. We do the same with shoes, with clothes, with jobs and employees. We do the same with personal intimacy and integrate the natural philosophies of “the good of use and onto another to use” in how we wrongly define love and hatred. “I love my ‘whatever’ as long as it suits my purposes.” “I hate my ‘whatever’ when it ceases to suit my purposes. “No harm done.” ”No problem.” “Get another one, I deserve it!” “After all, there has to be something better out there somewhere…”

Myth #22 - “The ultimate test is to disagree, but still hold hands.”

   There is no test. Rating one’s worthiness is a substitute for trusting that Jesus Christ paid the price for our unworthiness once and for all. It is the working out of our honesty in trust that there is nothing to withhold, right or wrong, from our mate. We married everything about our spouse just as Christ died in reconciliation for everything about each of us. He passed the test of tests for any of our foibles, discomforts, and malicious ways in our stead so that we may be open and honest for His sake, for the sake of “that one” we hold dear according to His created expectations.

   We may love and be loved without reserve through our open trust that, no matter what, we will not be rejected but upheld in our sharing. Every moment is a moment unto itself just as every day is a day of its own. There are no times of memory, good or bad, that can be upheld as superior, or more important than any other. The reason for this is the moments that bring pleasing circumstances and situations are a blessing to that moment’s sharing.

   The next moment has its own situation that gives to us the opportunity to once again display our sacred affection giving recognition that our one of the two of who we are is as important now as it ever was or will be. God in us, through faith in Jesus Christ, is that He is that we are, because He is that He is… always in the now.

Myth #23 - “The greatest feeling in the world is love, but the worst feeling is to love someone and not be loved back.”

   Stirred up mixed emotions are not the same as the responsive natural feelings any situation before us contains. Reactive thinking is not the choosing what to think because of our ongoing decisions to trust God by, in, and through our promise to Him to trust our mate in Christ. Spontaneous impulsive decisions arising from our emotional thinking to desire more of the same is what people generally call love.

   This warm fuzzy traumatizing of the internal senses of awareness is why “love” is difficult to explain in terms one’s pride of self preservation is able to understand. It also requires a negative counterpart to sustain its false legitimacy we wrongly call hatred, for hatred in its proper use is only a hatred toward and for evil, we use the term to offset our props to uphold our belief in false love as if it is the love we are searching to experience. We end up transferring our proper hatred for evil into a false hatred for people.

   The problem is, our endeavors to experience for ourselves what we believe is love, is why our definitions of love are terribly amiss. Love as thought of separately from God, as the creator of selfish emotional validation in our intimate privacies (meaning any other ‘love’ is not love at all), is not the dependable straight-line commitment to truth in steadfast open devotion in marriage. Our personal dynamically alive Creator God the Heavenly Father, in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, continually provides for the asking, as we encounter the issues and ways of living our lives through faith in Him, along with ‘that one’ to whom we marry.

The Bedhopper’s Creed

(faith’s antipathy: jumping to conclusions/"Try 'em before you buy 'em!")

In life there are moments when you miss someone so much, that you wish you could grab them out of your dreams and hug them tight!

When a door closes, another one opens, but often we stand there so long looking at the closed door, that we do not see that one that’s opened.

Do not look at physical appearances, they can be deceiving. Do not look at riches, for they are only temporary. Look for someone who makes you smile… because sometimes it only takes a smile to brighten up a very dark day. Look for someone who makes your heart sing.

Dream what you want to dream; Go where you want to go; Try to be who you really are; Because life is short, and often only gives one chance to do things.

I wish you in life a lot of luck to feel good; Many trials to remain strong; Some tears to remain human; Lots of hope to become happy.

The most splendid future will always depend upon the necessity to release the past. You cannot move forward in life unless you learn from your past mistakes and move on.

When you were born you were crying, while everybody around you was smiling. Always live your life smiling even when other people around you are crying.

Share your moments with everyone you care about: …to those who have made an impact on you in some way or another. …to those who made you smile when you really needed it. …to those who make you see the positive side of everything just when you’ve hit rock bottom. …to those whom you can’t do without.

And, even if you don’t share your moments with anyone, nothing bad will happen. You just waste the possibility of brightening up someone’s life for a day!

Therefore… Keep an eye out for the adventures in life that await you.

And always remember that life is beautiful… and so are you!

   The error of deception: "When I treat you poorly, you won't miss me when I'm gone."

   In the dominion of immoderate personal and socially prideful thoughtlessness, rebellion ‘gab bag grab brags’ consist of as many men as they do women. Most men caught up in plying their fear-of-death libido focus on varying physiques and technical prowess in the ‘only one’ game and work to conceal from their other conquests the existence of each.

   Most women in the ‘only one’ game ornament their maternal craving primarily with the varied interests each of the men they keep in tow bring into their thrills. Part of the game’s driving excitement, the tension producing balancing act for more women, rather than men, is the furious confrontational jealousy that drives untoward passions.

   Why? At the core, both self-ish men and women are looking for a show; a melodramatic emotional confirmation that tries to stand-in for natural satisfaction. Natural satisfaction comes through trusting one’s faith to God in a man or woman who provides an intimate interest with respect to the dignities of structured concerns.

   Waffling flip floppers, what the Bible’s book of James calls unstable double mindedness, is about those who struggle to create spheres of separate attentions in flesh awareness in tandem cohesion, the intense managing of contradictions, to spirit awareness as a Christian. When worldly self-person workable desire takes priority, it subjugates spiritual realities to emotions and intellect.

   When spiritual realities through faith take priority, self-person workable desire takes on a new and thankful stability. Emotional intellect finds itself under authority of God’s leading in wholeness in ways that trying to keep pigeonholed godly living away from flesh living cannot.

   Though a man and woman are human beings and both have applicable attributes of the other, men are primarily protectively sensitive to holding a sense of masculine strength and women are primarily protectively sensitive to retaining a sense of shelter. Differing conversations, then, revolve around believing a mate is not being straight-forward because he or she is not straight forward in that belief.

A monogamist asked a polygamist, “How many wives does your sect permit a man to have?”

The polygamist replied, “As many as a man has ribs. But, the more wives a man has the less able he is to stand in his own strength.”

   The right to marry is granted by the U.S. Constitution, but not the right to redefine marriage. While everyone in America is free to honorably enter into matrimony, our laws respect the honor of marriage in requiring citizens to marry someone of the opposite sex - just as they require people not to marry children, blood relatives, multiple partners, or people who are already married. There is no discrimination, because these restrictions apply equally to every person.

   When same sex interested people do not want to enter into marriage as defined by the laws of the states - rooted in the public interest in respect for procreation, the anthropological record, social science evidence, and religious stability - does not give any one or group a right or privilege to change what marriage is and what it means. No federal, state, or municipal judge or legislator has the power to use the Constitution to suggest otherwise.