The Cross of Jesus Christ is the world's greatest offense.
His Resurrection is everyone's greatest refuge.
Beauty, truth, friendship, love,
creation - these are the great values of life. We can't prove them, or explain
them, yet they are the most stable things in our lives. Believing uncertainty
causes problems is the problem - unless our efforts in all situations are
faithfully trusted in our Heavenly Father. He accepts the unacceptable, not to
allow the unacceptable, but to transform the unacceptable into the acceptable.
There is a source of our living
awareness that is not abstract, mechanical, or uncaring - there is a purpose in
our existence beyond our ability to fully understand. The “Grand Mystery” of
all things is based in with whom we are making our decisions.
God has a plan and He does not make
mistakes. However, He is not the author or generator of the difficulties and
hardships we and the world suffers. Changing day by day is unavoidable. We
either are falling away from, or rising into, our created place of being.
The information presented here is not a
quick and easy read. Though it is written for everyone, it will seem at times
very personal because the heart of understanding is meant to be sensitive to
the truth. God leaves no one out (that is what confused people do) and has a
place for everyone - while His desire is that everyone should be in their
place. Marriage defines the focus.
Marriage of a man with a woman is a
defense against, and an offense to, a world bent on autonomous self esteem. As
it should be, when we are personally responsible with a love interest, we are
open and vulnerable to their entire being. The varied topics here are necessary
to indicate the depths of commitment intimate involvement entails.
It is recommended no portion of this
site be taken out of context. Because words are symbols, the meaning of a word
rests in the why of that word. The why of a word does not rest in its symbolic
meaning. [Differences in language can cause motivational conflict of
intentions: In English the word sin means a type of bondage to personal destructiveness;
whereas in Spanish sin generally means, ‘to be free of’ or ‘without
If you do not like part or all of this
shared witness, pray about it and give yourself a chance to understand.
If you realize what this message is and what
it means to you, you will not get caught up on the words or cast them aside as
There is no negative intent implied
2 Corinthians 1:24, Not that we have
dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.
The below link is back by request:
The standard of living that is the foundation and background behind all
other forms of standards of living - the core of social and personal well being
- is the union of a man and a woman in the institution of marriage. It is the central
and core, number one, civil right of humankind, and the basis for all other
endeavors. It is a dangerous conjecture to reason there is no God, for marriage
would lose its purpose and respect in our hearts and attentions.
Like breathing, and a beating heart, there are standards of intimacy
that, without exception, apply to everyone; whether one or another, or many,
disagree. Many Scriptural illustrations of God’s example to us in Christ show
the spiritually unseen manifestations of His Way in marriage as the guiding
character our physical materialistic meanings require. Joy in shared living is
through our active responses in giving attentions to God's promises of
protection in the living vows of marriage - the merging of two independent
individualities into a joint decision making team of one.
The wedding band is the outward physical symbol of this bond of
commitment. Marriage is not an optional accessory to living one’s life where
other endeavors with career, friends, or hobbies take lead. Marriage is living
where these other activities enhance purposeful companionship. The Bible says
marriage is patterned after the church unto Christ where the man holds the
position of Christ to his wife who represents the church unto her husband. That
is because of original sin in the Garden of Eden where Eve was tempted to
listen to the Serpent instead of Adam her husband.
All things in the world that are not in the will of God are patterns of
original sin because the falling away from life is from the same source. No
matter what their particular or collective circumstances, everybody belongs to
God. Jesus Christ fully committed Himself to live and die, and live again,
humanity. His Word represents a man’s position of authority where a woman’s
word authority combines with her husband’s place in Him. Christ’s flesh
represents a woman’s position of authority where a man’s body authority
combines with his wife’s place in Him.
Marriage in the United States of America is legally classified as
"fundamental to our very existence and survival" because of its role
in encouraging and protecting the only type of interpersonal association which
results in the natural reproduction of the human race. The working out of
personal and interpersonal development is accomplished, by the hand of God
through faith action, within marriage day to day by husband and wife.
Shared personal intimate living, under the spiritually unseen/physically
seen dual sanctioned powers of our eternal God in agreement with temporal
society, where He remains humankind’s Authority and humankind’s various
families are society’s authority, finds its lasting strength through the
wedding ceremony. At issue is not promiscuous or “let’s see if it works out”
co-habitude sex because who we are, as a people centered in our loyalties, has
generally been abandoned due to available contraceptives.
At issue are false confidentiality standards based in expressive
intrigue. At stake are our self-assured attitudes about Who Jesus Christ is
(consequently who we are), in our caring for the power of our committed word,
connected with His. Casual sex, recreational sex, occupational sex,
entertainment sex, whim-of-the-moment hookup sex, and career planning-stage
‘stayovers’ take a subversive emotionally supportive dependent independence to
financial stability and status in a society where personal achievement drives
the powers of convenience behind consumerism and population control.
Swaying the power of combined faith decisions in marriage into division
for profit by cooperate advertising executives…
and people, collectively, lose their God given rights to trust in Him to
know what He is doing as our source of supply, at the service to worldly
economic vitality. To protect our own desires for self-aware fulfillment in our
unique and particular independence, we are taught we must blame our father, our
sisters, our brothers, the school, the teachers, the government, and ultimately
our spouse - we can blame anyone but never blame ourselves.
It's never our fault, just ask anyone and they can tell you which man or
woman cause their problems. Trouble is, we have forgotten to trust God to know
how and which un-human demonic pressures and influences are working to ruin our
faithful living. In that sense it really is not our fault because we are
overwhelmed by the spirit of the “master of thieves” throughout society. But,
it is always our responsibility because we supernaturally want change called
improvement. We are the one who has the power through faith action, together with
our loved ones, to change.
Honor does not “just happen naturally” except in our seeking for God’s
wisdom through faith in Christ. Intentional respect leads to decency that leads
to integrity that leads to honor; always in that order. Moving ahead into bond
with a mate brings rise to paradoxical if not opposed thoughts and feelings
accompanying fresh as well as accustomed positions in life. Fearful awed wonder
of the new and delight at the disappearance of the old in concert with fear of
losing the old and trepidation at the appearance of the new; repulsion and
fanatical enthusiasm, creativity and despair are natural active elements during
the changeover process.
However, the process of conversion into married life is not meant to be
a maintained way of life. Efforts to drag the old into the new as a
conceptual/emotional integrated completion of wholeness will only serve to
catch everyone involved into continuous confusion from being stuck in the
transformation. Before marriage, attempts at finding solace is found in
indirect pieces here and there, as one allows, because there is no foundation
of particular lasting commitment in which to rely. This leads to an unfulfilled
habitual hunger for attention.
As a person integrates their persona, interests, and expectations with
the one they marry, there comes a unifying of finding secure solace with and in
their mate and a giving up of the varied opinions, viewpoints, and scattered
yearning being single naturally causes. If one were to remain single in their
avenue of expression in life without marriage, only one stable and centered
focus is available without falling into the perplexity resulting from
multi-intimate companionships: living solely unto solace in God through Christ
without interpersonal intimacy with another human being; not for reasons of
physical purity, but for reasons of personal responsibility to others.
Any event of experience we are reluctant to be respectfully open and
honest about with our personal partner is probably something we shouldn’t be
doing. It causes distortions of proper consideration in unrestrained free
association between unconnected similarities of meanings and purposes. Lost is
the power of our God-instilled natural instincts true romantic traditions find
in putting marriage first through open ceremony (and straightforward eloping)
to shed aside family and social restraints against a man and woman choosing to
permanently be responsible for one another in God’s capable, responsible,
Prenuptial agreements speak of the confusion in mixing fear with doubt.
Natural fearfulness is based in intense apprehension. Future projected
self-protective exercises during matrimonial preparations create an unintended
suspicion where faith combines with the proper cautions. Giving our mate a
chance to be for us, in personal responsibility for everything we may be
involved, allows them to be who we married them to be. There can be no
constructive success in the upside-down-backwards manipulative practice of
refraining from togetherness in marriage to facilitate any general and/or
certain demands of behavioral criteria and/or performance.
An extravagant expensive wedding ceremony, though a delightfully
positive expression of dedication, must never displace propriety’s priority about
cohabitation and present affordability. Attention to honest straight-forward
composure in wedding arrangements provides the dignity of witness expensive
pretentious preparations for a “dream wedding” cannot approach. A wedding for a
few hundred dollars, or less, is not diminished in God’s eyes. Splurging on the
nearly $30,000 average wedding costs in the USA shows; on the one hand a
celebrated radical trust in faith, and on the other a retreat from moderation
in all things.
Many times, depending upon what a couple has to work with, elegant
simplicity and necessary thrift allows for much more appreciated memories. One
of the adversary’s biggest weapons is discouragement about supposed negative
circumstances accompanied by a vague overall disgust that paralyzes our
activities to hold ourselves and others in account. The devil’s
divide-and-conquer methods are always the same: To keep a couple from an open
and honest living under the joys of grace and mercy. Indignation against
frustrations gives a false reasoning about our fears and distances our active
reliance in Christ’s hand, through our hands, in our affairs.
When our attentions in the decisions we daily make affect intimately
involved companionship (marriage), and other important decisions a man and
woman are designed by Creation to share, we must seek special direction from
God by our trust in Him through our partner. Too often, however, private
individualistic prayer is used to camouflage our lack of activity on behalf of
our mate because of fears of failure. Everyone gets furious with themselves
from time to time when they discover they ‘had things wrong’. Thankfulness
abounds when it is discovered through faith that God has things always right.
Love is from God and of God and must always be from open and honest
faith-action because God Himself is Love. He is forever. Since people are not
God and cannot be God, what people usually call love in their own reactions to
desires is an emotional substitute for faith; attempting to provide the necessary
devotions it takes to make a permanent 'go' with a man or woman we marry. When
the flesh is understood for what it is, as subject to God’s desires of Will, we
have His personal life giving guidance to not reject our personal cares and
concerns; but a proper order of sense about commitment.
People cannot actually fall out of love unless it is the 'love' they
fell into in the first place that is usually a well satisfied fulfillment
through the use of others. When others do not comply with our own perception
(deception) of right over wrong, we say our love is diminished. However, that
does not mean that we do not truly love a person we understand we wanted and
accepted based in our self-serving misunderstandings about what love is.
The problems people have with accepting God's grace and mercy of the
Good News Gospel of salvation, in most people's hearts and minds who have yet
to know Him for Who He is, is they transfer their worldly selfish ideas about
what love means onto and into their learning about God. Belief in intelligence
as superior to ignorance in world knowing by Godly principles is part of the
humanly distorted blocks to receiving Him - because balancing right over wrong
in one’s egotistical pride is not of God but of deception from the knowledge of
good and evil.
This causes an unintended rejection of Christ as the Alive Man of
Redemption He is by believing He is someone He is not. In defending God’s
righteousness in order to find emotional stability to hold onto faith, we get
caught up in our pride to brow-beat others into our ways instead of His ways.
So, we balk and fight against anything of Truth that gets in the way of our
personally and collectively honed and polished misplaced faith in humanity's
religious pathways founded in instinctual attractions.
Putting ourselves first over the errors and discrepancies of those we
love by aligning our attractions to have things right, by requiring their
submission to our will, has nothing to do with patient devotion to a mate in
their freedoms of will unto the real God, through His provided faith in His
Son, to expand our heartfelt attentions to see our courses of true love in
following His leading. God will never lead us astray, and understanding
matrimonial vows enough to realize permanence in Him allows us to see our own
God given gifts of determination to trust in our loved ones for His sake – no
matter how things may seem to be amiss or a mess.
Astonishing is how so many men and women feel empowered to accomplish
anything they wish in life through determination, education, hard work,
intelligence, technological innovation, tenacity, power of positive persuasion,
and socially responsible charitable volunteerism except for sensibly applying
these same values to the greatest ongoing adventure people have ever
universally and personally experienced: living a marriage.
Those who seek to shut out the testimony of God’s witness cannot regard it as constituting an expression
of the church, “the pillar and ground of the truth.” Hence, they feel themselves justified in separating from
their faith-active connections.
Everyone matters... we get overwrought with people because of situations
and circumstances and wrongly think we lose who they are to us and who we are to them. Believing in a past where struggles
and pitfalls alienate others from being with us in the future is what the Deceiver wants us to see as real.
The best thing to do with and for anyone we "push into the past", because of overloaded emotional regret, is
to pray for them - for they have an eternal soul as we do. "God works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform." Judge not
lest you be judged for there is never any past, nor is there ever a future in God’s eyes. He is that He is in the beginning,
now, and in the end. Everybody’s wayward wrongdoing is always automatically placed entirely on Christ whether or not
anyone asks Him for His mercy.
‘Now is the time to come to the aid of your ____ “means just that. Everything starts with prayer,
and everything continues with prayer. We can ‘pray our way through’ any situation’s circumstantial difficulty
by relying in God as the answer of answers. He gives to us our confidence to take action through the grace and mercy we share
with whomever we may be ‘at odds’ against in our flesh-wise self interest.
All our efforts will seem utterly futile if we ignore the Holy Spirit’s leading by deciding one or another
is beyond our attentions or concern – especially when it involves our heart in personal responsibilities to our commitments
in marriage and family. We usually treat those we care for in what we think of them for our own purposes that blinds us to
who they are. We want to be loved and cared for as they do. But, if anyone is thought undeserving to be cared for in our eyes,
then what is our caring for?
Personal growth and success is a by-product of our response-able living in faith; it is not the goal. God does
not single anyone out for their own development, but for His overall plan for us all. That overall plan means reverence for
our vowed witness - faithfulness. Believing uncertainty causes problems is the problem - unless our efforts in all situations
are faithfully trusted in our Heavenly Father.
God never treats us as “pawns in a chess game of life” because of His love and respect for who He
desires us to be in Him. Our troubles are not reasons to disband the work. Rather, our troubles are our opportunities to pull
together in allowing God to work His Word of glory through our combined efforts.
The most prevalent blunder in active traditional Christendom is that God is in cahoots with the devil to punish
people into righteousness through the lessons of hardship. Conservatism loses its beneficial witness of constructive vitality
to the gospel of the Law that requires paying one’s way into acceptance through faith in Him by our works.
Ephesians 2:8-10 says, For by His favor are ye saved through means of faith; and that not of yourselves: it
is the free gift of God: Not from works, lest anyone should boast. His in fact we are, his workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus upon a footing of good works, which God prepared beforehand that therein we might walk.
The good works spoken of by Christ are not the world’s religious righteousness in rating people by levels
of sinfulness to classify one or another’s rights to social status and position or any lack thereof. Good works in Christ,
according to His Gospel, are found in providing opportunity exactly where welcome is not deserved.
Forcing compliance for reward by withholding needs and successes contradicts God’s honest invitation for
one to respond wholeheartedly to His call through His Word, Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit of Living, like the manna in the
wilderness, is gathered up fresh daily in the morning through prayer faithfully together with those we share our personal
“Have I any pleasure to take delight in the death of the lawless, at all that the wicked should die? asks
the Lord GOD: Must it not be in turning from his ways; that he should return from his ways, and live?” Ezekiel 18:23
In response to frequent inquiry:
Couples who are responsible enough to marry after a child is conceived do no harm to their status of integrity
before mankind and God through faith in Christ; in any manner. Under the authority of matrimonial bond, there are no illegitimate
About divorce: A man or woman does have the shared authority in Christ to disavow a marriage. Though, never
independently because of pressures and influences from someone else. Promised matrimonial agreements are God’s property
through the combined will of decision a married couple has and, as scripture says, “…let no one put asunder.”
It is only the married man and woman, in prayerful agreement together, that have the place to ask forgiveness from Him to
allow release. The purpose? Reconciliation instead of being disbanded.
The most common strife causing demolition of faith-active continuity in any household is jealousy over misread
motives. When one person is doing his or her best as he or she is able and understands, first for their mate and accordingly
for others, it often appears that their intentions are self-serving. This is when the very work of loving effort being done
for unity and appreciation is undermined and deconstructed in many ways… misunderstood money matters are the usual cause
of spiteful retaliation.
When taking into account a moment’s subject matter (good, bad, right or wrong since all situations are
subject to faith in Christ), is your approach a “Me” or a “We”; does, “Mine!” express
your emotional outpouring instead of, “Ours!”? This practice, of course, only applies with and between a man and
woman in marriage. Anyone else involving their interest to sway a difference into the attentions and collaborations between
a husband and wife is overstepping their boundaries of respect, propriety, and cooperative seemliness.
When we trust God's Word for each other we see why we cannot trust our own words to each other.
A husband and wife do what they can and endure what they must for each other.
A good conscience can be found by honestly allowing your spouse to accept everything about you.
Having to want to do anything conjures up relenting resentment regarding a demand while wanting to have to do
anything is a delightful response to an invitation.
A great marriage, like a great cake, takes time to enjoy preparing, work to overcome obstacles for it to not
fall in baking, and shared delight in the consumption.
A man and/or woman wrapped up in his or her self makes small success – a married man and woman wrapped
up in each other makes blessed progress.
Being scared to make a mistake, the mistake made is being scared. Caution is different in that we move ahead,
in faith (the source of trust), cautiously.
A penny increased is one shared.
All marriages fluctuate continually amongst three emotional expressive atmospheres: Spouse protective rejecting
of self, self protective rejecting of spouse, and spouse protective accepting of self, which is the same as self protective
accepting of spouse.
All who are married know, in some way, God has a sanction that binds us in partnership for sincere work in the
Avoid using your husband or wife, or anyone else for that matter, as if they are a slot machine.
Investment in steadfast loyalty pays the best interest.
Be careful who it is you make into a public joke. You are deriding your own held position as well as theirs
and you may lose your privately held blessings.
When we do what is right we have no concern
for what is fair because what is right is fair. Conversely, when we do what is fair to make things right we lose why what
is fair is right and try to make the resulting wrong acceptable.
Beware of people who enjoy springing special surprises. Their covert annoyances required for a higher ‘end
reward’ are painfully surprising. They are most probably allegiance thieves; profiteers attempting to gloss over their
disgrace for delving into your affairs.
Anger is never without reason, but reason is usually ignored in anger.
The cleverer you work to be, the more meaning you apply to presumptions, the less able you are to recognize
yourself and others as real people.
Selfishness takes the delightful joy of godly humour and turns it sardonic.
When habitual assuming fears override better judgment (faith), a person’s self-protective instinct works
to subliminally command others to be similarly impulsive (temptation).
Both the words ‘against’ (conflict) and ‘with’ (resolution) find the same meaning in
their attending attentions brought by passing time.
Complain, criticize, and condemn adverse circumstances together before God – no one is perfect.
Being fools for each other allows God to be Who He is and is better than making fools of each other and forgetting
Him in the process.
Accounting for words and silence finds no insult in realizing a man’s errors belong to his wife and a
woman’s errors belong to her husband; but we all belong to God.
Anyone is ready to own the goodness of their husband or wife and lovingly desires to disown the evils.
During any instant’s state of affairs, when a meaningful glance opportunity presents itself, there is
always a choice to extend either expectant admiration or sneering suspicion.
There is no shame in revealing any truth privately with only your ‘other half’. Be honest with each other about your vices knowing the body in which you reside
belongs to your spouse.
No one is God, but He asks us to honestly carry – endure – being one (each of the other) in marriage.
In that, He promises to be one with us.
Look at who is stirring you up in anger against your wife or husband and you will see who you need to avoid.
The usual controlling hidden motive is not about the obvious issue(s) at hand, it is to delay your time of living.
God is the Hub for his will and her will to be their will, becoming his wit and her wit to be their wit-(ness),
and then his judgment and her judgment meld into their judgment as dispensed by the authority of Christ.
The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse – that is what God designed marriage
Not a light matter to our Father above is the permanence in marriage, He provides by Christ’s assurance,
in the security to thankfully cuddle on cold winter nights. Whether realized or not, it is the fundamental foundation of why
each culture strives for its well being.
A husband and wife are responsible for each other and their pre-adult children; and
to everyone else for Christ’s sake. Everyone else is responsible to, and not for, a
married man and woman and their family, for Christ’s sake.
“To thine own self be true,” contradicts “Not my will but Thine be done,” growing personal/collective
intelligence without passion. Meanwhile, passion is kept ‘secret’ in ‘becoming through the journey’
to achieve in opposition to “…all these things shall be added unto you,” in spite of God’s lovingkindness
in His creative expression revealed where we are with whom we react in His reasons to “Lean not unto thine own understanding.”
Time and again we declare our selves done. Then God reminds us He is not through with His way in our way.
Why Get Married First?
“Get married first” is not about sex as in,
‘now it’s legal’. It is about who it is we trust with the life affecting decisions that face us day to day.
Not considered by many is all decisions, small and large, are life affecting because we do not know who and how those decisions
may be applied through the understanding of those with which we have dealings - and by consequence, those of whom we are not
Part of worldly knowing as different or outside the realm
of faith that misapplies natural confidence to the wrong places for the wrong reasons, is a religiously oriented abyss that
holds contempt for individual instinctual expressions, a philosophy of sexual sharing as why marriage exists to function.
Yes, however, it is part of the process
of personal bond but is always subject to the decisions a man and woman hold in Christ’s respect for individual determination
The Bible says that if we love husband, wife, child, boyfriend, girlfriend, house, car, sports,
motorcycle, music, entertainment, pleasures, food, clothes, self-righteousness, and even our own life more than we love God,
we are setting our affections on the gift instead of the Giver. What it does not mean is to love God instead of the earthly bonds and appreciations we enjoy for His sake.
If anybody is looking for excuses, there are none. We 'play God' in error with those we are
personally involved by requiring from our mate, other family members, friends and acquaintances, and workplace to play up
to our expectations or be slain by our condemnation. However, when we hold the gifts of marriage, family, and social concerns
in vigorous defense of honor because we love God, we find that to love God first and always does not diminish, but increases,
our determinations to hold to our commitments.
Love is a marvelous mystery because we are created to trust
God with our faith in why and how we deal with those He puts in our attentiveness. Love is expressed through us from God,
not by us as if we can use Him to fashion our own purposes. It is expressed in our priorities to defend His Word by putting
our spouse always first for His sake. Then, our decisions about what we may and may not do with others and our approaches
to how we respond to situations and circumstances, is blessed through our togetherness - for His sake.
People have as many reasons for getting married as there
are people. All the same, there is one reason of reasons for getting married, and staying married, that covers all other realized
and unrealized reasons: It is the right thing to do.